Until It Happens To You…
Sexual assault and drugging of young women happens at every college campus across the nation, whether you feel comfortable admitting it or not. Every one in four women from the ages of eighteen to twenty-two will be the victim of sexual assault. However, most of the targets and victims of this horrific crime are freshmen and sophomores. Unfortunately, we don’t take it seriously until it actually happens to us.Â
Powerless. Weak. Angry. Alone. Afraid. Worthless. Embarrassed. Anxious. Helpless. Numb. Depressed.
That is how women feel after being victims of sexual assault. The majority of women put the blame on themselves, wondering what they could have possibly done wrong or what they did to deserve this haunting punishment. The answer: nothing. You did absolutely nothing at all. You were targeted, and sadly there was no possible way of knowing and preventing it. Before immediately sending yourself to a downwards spiral, remind yourself that you are not just a victim, but a survivor. Do not let a single person(s) ruin your life or your self-image. You are strong, and you are not alone.
“Do I report it?” “How do I tell my family?” “Do I tell my family?” “How do I tell my boyfriend?” “Will people think less of me?” “Will people believe me?”
Erase all of those questions in your mind immediately. Even if you think that the best thing to do right now is to fight this battle on your own, don’t. This cannot be fought alone because your thoughts will without-a-doubt consume you. The worst thing you could possibly do is to alienate yourself. If the one thing stopping you from telling somebody is because people will either think less of you or not believe you, you’re wrong. No matter who you tell, I can promise you that they will be supportive and will do everything in their power to help you. No one will think of you differently, and loved ones will still love you unconditionally.
At some point in your life, you should definitely tell your parents, or even a brother or sister. Whether this time be now or later, it is very important that your family is aware of the situation that took place. I can tell you now that the longer you wait, the longer the hindering thoughts in your head will remain until you tell them. Family is family. They have every right to know because they love you, and will only want to help.
The absolute hardest, yet necessary, person to tell if this happens to you is your boyfriend or S.O. These people are your other half, both emotionally and physically. Although it’s scary to find out what their reaction will be, they deserve to know. I am 99% positive that they will do everything in their power to support you and make you feel whole again. Whether they attend the same college/university or go to school hours away from you, they will be there for you no matter what.
“I’m angry.” “I hate myself.” “I hate everyone.”
You have absolutely every right to be angry, but not forever. Carrying on all of this anger for a long period of time can be toxic and can destroy your self-image. It is not healthy to have all of that negativity flow through your brain. You did nothing to deserve the punishment inflicted on you, so do not destroy yourself. Blaming yourself and dwelling on the actions caused by a terrible human-being is not worth a second of your time. Remember, these actions were caused by a single person or group, not the world. Do not turn your back on everyone, especially those trying to help you.
“What do I do now?”
Never stop living. Don’t be afraid to continue doing everyday activities or to take risks! You are strong enough to not let this event control your life. Surround yourself with loved ones and remember, you are a survivor, and you are not alone.
You are strong. You are brave. You are beautiful.
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