Every morning after I wake up, it’s not uncommon to find me scrolling through my phone, particularly Facebook. In addition to friends, I follow a variety of magazines, including Bustle and Everyday Feminism. Every morning, I read new articles discussing current events or certain concepts, all relating back to feminism in some way. As I go through my day, I do my best to apply feminist practices to my daily life. I refrain from using degrading words, such as “slut,” especially against other women. I speak out against rape jokes and discuss issues like wage gap, making sure to acknowledge the wider disparity there is for women (and men) of color.
Despite all of this, I’m not a perfect feminist.
I cringe to think of habits I had in middle school and even high school, such as the things I said against other women, my inability to see how certain issues effected women of color or LGBTQ+ women differently. I can’t help but enjoy listening to somewhat-feminist-but-still-problematic artists such as Taylor Swift. Sometimes I fail to speak up, for myself, for other women.
I’m not a perfect feminist. You’re not a perfect feminist. But, that’s okay. And here’s why it is and also how you can balance those imperfections while fighting for equality.
Nobody’s Perfect (You Gotta Work It!)
That was totally an intentional Hannah Montana reference because let’s talk about Miley Cyrus. Miley Cyrus is often championed as a body positive activist, who wears what she wants and encourages other women to be themselves—however, on the flip side, what she wears, much of the time, is cultural appropriation and offensive. Moreover, she fails to move beyond white feminism, invalidating artists such as Nicki Minaj, like at this year’s VMAs.
Like I said, I’m a Taylor Swift fan. When 1989 came out I couldn’t help but play Blank Space on repeat. However, Swift, like Cyrus, is a feminist for white women only, invalidating and pushing out a huge amount of women who desperately need to be included in the movement for equality—even more than white women.
I’m not alone in enjoying problematic media. Who doesn’t enjoy a show or movie every so often that has a problematic, sexist undertone? Every now and then, we may laugh at a problematic joke—or feel pressured to laugh or too intimidated to speak up against it.
It doesn’t make you a bad person or a bad feminist. It makes you an imperfect feminist and that’s not the end of the world. It’s okay. However, there are ways to challenge your imperfections!
Look Around and Take Action
Love Taylor Swift or Miley Cyrus? Enjoy consuming media that is problematic? I even once had a friend who told me, in anguish in her car, that she simply can’t stop listening to the song “Blurred Lines”, because the song was just so catchy. That’s fine, but now it’s time to challenge yourself a little bit.
Be open with yourself and with others as to why this sort of media is problematic or why a certain behavior is problematic. It may mean exposing yourself for a moment, but do it. At the end of the day, you’ll be the stronger and more socially-aware person. And then take action.
Did you buy a Taylor Swift song or pay to see a movie that had pre-dominantly male or white actors? Take action by supporting the music of an artist of color or see a movie written by a woman, or starring women, or one with a positive message! Write about your experiences and share your writing with others! Suggest a joke that isn’t sexist (especially discourage rape jokes)! Apologize for using the word “whore” or another gendered slur against another women and make a mental note not to use those words to the best of your ability! Take a look in the mirror (and on Google) to ensure that whatever you’re choosing to wear isn’t appropriative! For every problematic action, follow up with two empowering actions.
Don’t forget to check your privilege as well. We hear that phrase all the time, but what does it truly mean? It means recognizing that your experiences may not line up perfectly with the experiences of other. As a woman I have and will continue to face misogyny and sexism in my life as well as a higher risk of have violence perpetuated against me and the very real possibility that I will be paid less than my male counterparts. However, my experiences are far less severe than those experienced by women of color or LGBTQ+ women. Recognizing this and doing what I can to act as an ally to these women is recognizing my privilege.
Educate yourself. Don’t know something? Google it! Or simply ask—but never assume that any women has the duty to educate you on feminist issues nor speak for an entire group. Build up your knowledge so you can continue to challenge yourself every day.
It’s okay to be an imperfect feminist. No one is perfect. However, don’t forget to challenge your notions of the world—as well as your notions of what makes a feminist every single day and strive to affect change and make the world a better place for all.
