Let’s Talk about Sex, Baby: Meet Laura

Name: Laura Delamare

Hometown: Los Altos

Year: Senior

Major: Communication

Minor: Professional Writing- Multimedia Track  

Website: http://www.soc.ucsb.edu/sexinfo/home

Who are the UCSB sexperts?

We are a group of students who run a sex health website through the sociology department at UCSB, under the guidance of Professors John and Janice Baldwin. The website covers all aspects of sexuality: sexual assault, anatomy, unusual sexual practices, STIs, pregnancy, paraphilia, and more. In order to be a sexpert you have to take Sociology 152A (Intro to Human Sexuality) and then be invited into 152B (a seminar discussion class) and, finally, you are invited to participate in 152C (the class where we write for the website). There are currently about 20 of us!

What are some of your responsibilities?

We do research and write articles for our website that reach over 200 countries around the world. We also answer questions from individuals seeking help on any topic within sexuality. People write to us about their first time, masturbation, sexual violence, sexual dissatisfaction, and more. It is very rewarding to answer their questions!

How has being a member of this organization changed your views on sex and sex culture?

In order to be a sexpert you have to have an open mind to all sexual orientations, gender orientations, relationship types, and sexual practices. Being in the organization has helped me realize that sexuality is entirely fluid, like a continuum, and that we can’t judge anyone based on their practices or preferences. Being a sexpert has also made me really aware of sex health issues for our age group—friends and peers ask me questions all the time and and it’s fun to be able to provide answers for them.

What are the most common misconceptions you’ve come across as a sexpert?

I think the biggest misconception we deal with is about virginity and purity before marriage. A lot of people write us from less developed parts of the world and express concerns about their hymen. Many women ask whether their fiancée will be able to tell that they are not a virgin, in fear that they will be rejected, publically shamed, or worse. It’s very emotional to hear their pleas. I wish there was less focus on virginity in those parts of the world; I fear for the safety of the women who write to us.

What other activities/organizations are you involved in?

I am the president of the Gaucho Tour Associate, so I give campus tours and am the student leader of the organization. I also work at the front desk at the Student Resource Building on campus! In terms of activities, I love cooking and baking with friends, and spend most of my free time enjoying my balcony over the ocean.

If you could tell your freshman self one thing what would it be?

I would tell myself to say yes to more activities and opportunities on campus. It took me a long time to start dipping my toes into the clubs and organizations on campus, and I wish I had gotten started earlier! There is so much to do and see, and so many wonderful people to meet.

Where do you see yourself in ten years?

I hope to teach English abroad for several years when I graduate. In ten years I see myself back in California teaching high school English, and hopefully running a progressive non-profit sex education program for low income Bay area youth. Fingers crossed!

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