How many of those participation ribbons or trophies do you still put on out display? How many times have you proudly told someone you were just a participate in something? There comes a time in everyone’s lives where they stop getting certificates and praise for accomplishing simple tasks. So what happens when we overpraise and incorrectly encourage the younger generation?
Humans are inheritably competitive beings. We want the best. We want to be the best. We also want tangible proof that we are the best. But, by rewarding minimal effort we are establishing a precedent that people become complacent with their level of skill. For example, if someone were to learn the basics of playing the piano and enter in a competition and be rewarded for their novice skill set.
We, as a society, need to realize that we don’t need praise or other people to validate our own feelings of accomplishment. It’s an awful cycle to start at such a young age. We are living in a time where everything someone does feels the need to be validated or liked. Do you see everyone walk out after a job interview with a trophy or participation ribbon? Why start those types of expectations at such a young age?
It used to be that taking part in something was its own reward. You got to be a part of a special moment that not everyone could do. I never played my childhood soccer games for the trophy. I did it for a sense of pride and accomplishment. It felt good to run as hard as I could after the ball with my teammates cheering me on. That feeling was much better than the cold hard piece of plastic they gave me afterwards. I continue to hold on to those memories instead of the actual prize.
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Parents are starting to catch onto this trend of being rewarded for showing up. A few months ago James Harrison, father of two young boys, publically spoke about this phenomenon. His sons were given a trophy for “2015 Best of the Batch Next Level Athletics Student-Athlete Awards”, or for just being athletic in general. Harrison decided that he was going to give these trophies back to the school because his kids did not actually earn the trophies. He said in his instagram post “I’m sorry I’m not sorry for believing that everything in life should be earned and I’m not about to raise two boys to be men by making them believe that they are entitled to something just because they tried their best…cause sometimes your best is not enough, and that should drive you to want to do better…not cry and whine until somebody gives you something to shut [you] up and keep you happy.” This is an excellent example that proves life will never just give you want you want. You have to work and try your hardest and maybe you will be rewarded.
Winning is not a life skill. It is not something that is pertinent to life, however the ability to work well with others is. Nowadays, preschools are working harder on encouraging sportsmanship and teamwork rather than winning. This is a great first step in breaking the cycle. By doing this, we are teaching children that winning should not the final result. Yes, it feels great to actually win but it feels better to work as a team to accomplish something. By instilling the mentality of accomplishing something is it’s own reward in the younger generation the need for a physical prize will be erased.
All in all society thrives off the natural competition of life. We all want to be the best, but rewarding someone for just trying encourages complacent behavior. In the bigger picture we are missing out due to our overzealous nature of awarding prizes. We need to flip the switch and use our pride as a reward. A sense of accomplishment is worth much more than a cheap plastic trophy. Â