As we get older, our lives shift in all sorts of directions, and often times, we lose some old friendships in the process. Whether you’ve lost touch with an old friend because of a stupid fight, or because one of you got a new boyfriend, or because you’re in college now, it’s important to remind yourself of why you were friends in the first place. Chances are, that person was someone you trusted, someone who knew you well, and someone with whom you shared a lot of laughs. Rekindling these old friendships is worth the effort, and it’s a whole lot easier than you might think.
Here are five tips to getting that friendship back!
1. Get past the nerves.
Initially, it might seem scary to contact someone you haven’t talked to in a long time. Maybe they will be busy, or maybe they won’t be interested in reconnecting. Accept that this is a possibility, and move forward. Remind yourself that there is a good chance that they have thought about you too, and that they are just as nervous about contacting you as you are!
2. Share an old photo, silly text, or something that reminded you of them.
Don’t be afraid to be friendly! A warm text message or happy memory that the two of you share is a beautiful thing to receive. Think about why you were friends in the first place, and why this friendship is still important to you.’
3. Suggest a plan, and be specific!
Rather than saying “we should hang out sometime”, it’s a better idea to suggest something specific— such as coffee on Friday afternoon, or brunch on Saturday morning. Giving them an idea ensures that the plans are much more likely to happen.
4. Take it slow.
Be realistic with how quickly you can jump back into this old friendship. Maybe you hung out with this person every day when you were ten years old, but now your lives are full of different things. You are not compelled to see each other all the time now, but that doesn’t mean you’re no longer friends!
5. Don’t force the friendship.
Remember that not all friendships are going to work out. A friendship has to be a two-way street, and if you’re the one who has to put in all the effort (making plans, sending texts, etc), you might feel like you’re getting hurt in the process. If it doesn’t work out, don’t let it get you down. Try again with other old friends!