1. I haven’t showered yet today.
2. The amount of body sprays I’m about to test out will have everyone fooled.
3. WOW, they have 100 different scents?
4. This means I need to test out 50 on my left arm and 50 on my right arm.
5. Maybe I should cross off different sections on my arms so I know where I have and haven’t sprayed.
6. Is that weird?
7. Nah, what am I thinking? That’s GENIUS.
8. Alright, and the first victim is…
9. “Beautiful Day!”
10. “A carefree blend of green apple, wild pink poppies & dewy pear.”
11. Why do I have to pay $14 to smell like sunshine and happiness?
12. I wonder what it’s like to create fragrances as your job.
13. I really need a new signature scent.
14. I wonder if my crush is more of a floral & flirty, fresh & playful, or warm & cozy kind of guy.
15. What I need to do is buy “Cozy Sunday Morning,” “Pink Lemonade Fizz,” and “French Lavender & Honey” and see how he reacts to each one.
16. Who am I kidding, I’m going to need more options.
17. And I’ll need a lotion that pairs well with each spray I decide to go with.
18. My wallet is gonna hate me.
19. But at least my crush won’t!
20. WAIT.
21. S.O.S.
22. IS THIS REAL LIFE?
23. The Semi-Annual Sale is happening. Right. Now.
24. Body sprays are buy 3, get 3 free?!
25. AND lotions?!
26. Somebody pinch me, I must be dreaming.
27. In this moment I am realizing that I am truly #blessed.
28. Wait, I need more hand soaps.
29. 7 for $24.
30. I am one human.
31. Does one human really need 7 hand soaps?
32. It’s fall and all of the holiday hand soaps are on display!
33. So, yes, one human does indeed really need 7 hand soaps.
34. My hands are going to smell like sugar cookies, candy canes, and fresh sparkling snow, and I have never been happier.
35. Does fresh sparkling snow even smell like anything?
36. I guess I wouldn’t know since I live in Florida.
37. It’s allergy season.
38. I can’t afford to get sick, I have a life!
39. Just kidding, I don’t really have a life.
40. But it sure sounds like a good excuse to stock up on these 5 for $6 hand sanitizers!
41. New skin-softening formula, new pocket-friendly shape, and new fragrances?
42. I think there’s a hidden meaning behind their advertising.
43. BUY. THEM. ALL.
44. Plus the holiday ones have cute lil’ penguins on them.
45. I can’t resist.
46. While I’m here, I might as well check out the candles.
47. 3-wick candles are 50% off!
48. In other words, I should buy one for each of my best friends, one for my mom, one for my aunt, one for each cousin, one for the nice crossing guard…
49. Probably 20 for me.
50. Here’s my dilemma.
51. Salted Caramel, Pumpkin Pecan Waffles, and Winter Candy Apple?
52. YUM!
53. But also, won’t they make me forever hungry?
54. Oh well. Worth it.
55. There’s a candle named “Black Tie.”
56. There’s also a candle named “Party Dress.”
57. Who comes up with these names?
58. Does their inspiration come from sniffing ties and dresses at fancy parties?
59. HELP.
60. THAT LADY TOOK THE LAST “CHAMPAGNE TOAST” CANDLE.
61. CHAMPAGNE TOAST IS MY FAVE.
62. Okay, remain calm.
63. When she’s not looking, I’ll just be super sneaky and casually grab it from her basket.
64. Welp – here goes everything.
65. Mission accomplished!
66. The candle has been retrieved! I repeat, the candle has been retrieved!
67. EEK it’s almost December?!
68. I guess I should do my Christmas shopping here, too.
69. No one can resist those spa sets, or the aromatherapy lotions and soaps.
70. Okay, I’ve done enough damage.
71. Time to head to checkout.
72. Hold up…
73. Could it be?
74. Shea socks, is that you?!
75. THIS IS WHAT I LIVE FOR.
76. Shea-infused socks with dogs, snowmen, lambs, mice, and bears?
77. I’ll take 5 of each!
78. Those will be great stocking stuffers.
79. Or maybe I’ll just keep them all.
80. Yikes, this cashier does not approve of my 5 very full baskets.
81. Aw, but she complimented my nails, so I guess we’re cool.
82. “Alright, that’ll be $250.”
83. *Faints*