Calling all girls! If you say you don’t do all thirty of these things, you’re lying.
1. Texting your ex “hey” at 2 AM on Saturday night. This is ultimately a lose-lose situation. If he answers, it’s awkward the next day. If he doesn’t answer, it’s still awkward the next day.
2. Stalking your cousin’s best friend’s ex boyfriend’s new girlfriend on Instagram. You gasp when you realize you’ve scrolled through 52 weeks’ worth of photos.
3. Claiming you’re on a diet and dropping a ton of cash on strictly veggies, only to head for the pizza/cookies/leftover Halloween candy upon return. Hey, at least you tried.
4. Saying “I don’t care” when you really do. You care a lot.
5. Telling your bestie you “want something super cute to wear out tonight,” going shopping, and returning with the black romper you have in eight different styles already.
6. Getting into the holiday spirit in October.
7. Being “so tired,” going to bed at nine, and then realizing it’s well after midnight after you’ve watched over five episodes of Gossip Girl.
8. Befriending that girl you know just started talking to the guy you talked to for like a week last year. You hate to admit it, but you want the details.
9. Telling your friends you’re on the way before you even hop in the shower.
10. Shamelessly trying to memorize the lyrics to 679 (and trying to choreograph your own dance routine). You have to be able to lead the club chorus, right?
11. Belting “Hello” by Adele at the top of your lungs. Yes, you sound just like her. Yes, you have the voice of an angel. Yes, this song WILL be on repeat for the next week. And, yes, Kate Hudson will post an Instagram crying to your voice, too.
12. Late night binge-eating. It doesn’t count if it’s after midnight, right? Oh, and mac n’ cheese bites definitely don’t count.
13. Preparing for your new crop top by doing abs ten minutes before getting ready.
*Does twenty crunches, checks for abs.* *Does twenty more, still no luck.*
14. Snapchatting in every possible location you shouldn’t be snapchatting: At a red light, on the toilet, in the middle of the dance floor, in class, as you’re getting pulled over, at work…the list goes on.
15. Saying you’re going to do squats and lift weights after you hit the elliptical, but turning away when you realize the entire men’s lacrosse team is in the weights area. You would rather die than have that cute boy watch you struggle with the five pound weights…
16. Thinking you look hot/cool driving with your windows down, Raybans on and music blasting but, in reality, you suck at driving. You’ve been pulled over more than five times and your friends complain of feeling carsick when they’re in your car.
17. Buying that “super trendy piece” that’s just over your budget because you promised yourself you would pair it with practically everything in your closet. Yeah, remember that? You wore it once but never wore it again because you Instagrammed in it.
18. Purposely snapchatting pictures of yourself from horrid angles and sending the pics to all your besties. If you have a pimple, your Snapchat besties are the first to know about it.
19. Keeping a “to-do” list for the sole satisfaction of checking things off it.
20. Accidentally leaving your BC alarm on loud. Sorry, professor!
21. Rolling up to Dunkin’ on Sunday morning in sweatpants, hair tied, chillin’ with no makeup on.
22. Getting a little too excited after Friday’s payday and feeling like a charity case Sunday morning.
23. Pretending you’re sending a really lengthy, serious text in the hallway to avoid making eye contact with that kid you may or may not have made out with last weekend.
24. Befriending girls in the bathroom. You don’t like her outfit that much, but you’re going to tell her you do anyway. We like receiving drunken compliments just as much as we like giving them.
26. Acting like an intense crafter on Pinterest. No, you aren’t actually going to glue gun jewels onto a wine bottle for each of your friend’s birthdays. You won’t purchase mason jars and fill them with shells either.
27. Realizing every girl in the halls literally looks identical to you: Burberry jacket, black leggings and riding boots with PSL in hand.
28. Tuning into the eleventh season of KUWTK and putting up with Kris’ nonsense. You hate that you love it. We’re all allowed a few guilty pleasures, right?
29. Living by Carrie Bradshaw’s life advice and praying your clique turns out like hers someday.
30. Blaming your life problems on a lack of coffee. Caffeine is always the solution to your problems.