Sexposed: The Post-Hookup Run-In

One of the few moments in life where everything would just be so much better if the ground opened up and swallowed everything in a two foot radius whole. Including the person standing in the center of that two foot radius. It’s the locked eyes, devils-out-to-get-me moment that seems to make seconds turn into days. And those days are filled with that body clenching embarrassment that can only come from one thing. Bumping into last night’s hookup.

There are no words to really describe it. Not all people have the Amy Schumer “Trainwreck” blasé attitude or Julia Roberts “Pretty Woman” just-another-‘client’ professionalism. (Disregard the fact that these women both ended up with hookups, because that is just not reality, friends.) So for the mortals among the collegiettes, let’s get something straight:

It’s only awkward if someone makes it awkward and the other person feeds into it. 

Even with the most embarrassing stories about it, likelihood is, that hookup will feed off the attitude that’s being given off. Making it awkward by avoiding seeing them and pulling a one eighty to run away in the other direction, that’s a no-no. Taking a chill pill and throwing a ‘hey’ to go along with that secret ‘I saw you naked’ smile; much better approach. Okay, maybe with a little less of the smile, it’s better not to freak them out. 

The thing is, humiliating stuff happens. And they can happen often with one time hookups. Someone falls off and breaks a table, someone starts bleeding excessively and ruining a comforter, someone drank a little too much and can’t quite perform, this stuff happens. It’s better to grin and bare it than let it take over. Instead, enjoy the good stuff that happened. Like how someone seemed to GPS the g spot sooner rather than later or how someone came prepared ahead of time so it didn’t take half an hour to find his roommates Trojan stash, or how it was just fun and exciting because it was someone new. Someone new to explore and enjoy. 

So next time that awkward moment seems to come around, it’s time to rip off the pampers and pull up the big girl panties. The black lace ones that literally say “I’m a boss.” 

And if the laissez-faire attitude is too much to handle, then start outsourcing hook-ups. Or just don’t hook up. It’s okay to be a relationship person. Just try to find that out before the prayer for a two foot square sink hole starts replaying in the brain. 

Happy Hunting!

• awkward
• college dating
• college hook ups
• hook up culture
• sexposed