Rise and shine single women everywhere.
Lately I’ve been to a lot of weddings, thrown a few bridal showers, and seen way too many engagement pictures. I am so happy for all those who have found their other half and are moving on to a whole other wonderful part of their lives. But I watch as the girls who are not getting married swoon over other’s weddings and spend too much time wishing they were the one in the white dress. I want to tell all those girls that it’s okay. It’s okay to not be married at age 20, it’s okay to not be dating someone, and it’s even okay to not want to be dating someone. Everyone is on his or her own time clock and I am here to reassure you that if you’re not one of the lucky few to be tying the knot at the moment, you are lucky enough to do all the great things on this list.
1. Remember your single years
Remember your first kiss up in a tree house at the end of the year party your sophomore year of High School? Remember how you hated it and the feeling reminded you of the alien from Men in Black? Now think about the time you peed on your ex’s front porch and took a picture mooning his house with all of your girl friends. That was fun.
2. Date someone totally wrong for you
With everyone you date, you learn a little more about how relationships work and a little more about yourself. Don’t date someone just because there is no way you will ever take the last name Frame as your own. Whether he’s the love of your life or it ends up being an absolute disaster, it’s all an experience.
3. Make a difference in someone else’s life
This sounds like a hard one that might involve lots of manual labor or a good portion of your hard-earned paycheck, but think hard. A little effort can be appreciated much more than you would imagine.
4. Take the ultimate vacation (this will involve a passport)
I have a friend who obtained a few buddy passes over the summer and traveled Europe with a best friend and no set plan until they both ran out of money. I’m not saying you should find the first plane ticket out of here and blow all of your life savings, but stop just telling yourself you want to travel and see the world and actually do it. I realize money is a big factor for lack of travel opportunity but you’re smart, if you want it bad enough you’ll find a way to make it happen.
5. Accomplish something you never thought you could
Ever wanted to run a marathon or pull off an elaborate Thanksgiving? Well now is your chance.
6. Go out on your own
I spent a year living on my own in California and even though I can’t count the number of times I called home in tears to my mom, I am so grateful for my experience there and the independence I gained from it. You don’t have to cross state lines like I did, but try to figure out what it’s like to be on your own for a change.
7. Learn a new skill
Guitar and surfing are on my list. I am dreadfully terrible at both but I keep going because it may be something I really end up enjoying in the end. And I would hate to miss out on one more thing that has the potential to bring me happiness.
8. Do something that really scares you
I have a big fear of heights. But in an attempt to no longer be such a wimp, I will skydive and cliff-jump. Even if it means closing my eyes and taking a run for it or physically having someone push me out of a plane.
9. Give back to your parents
They have done an awful lot for you and put up with a lot of pointless arguments and missed curfews. Let them know that you really appreciate it. And I’m not talking about a card.
10. Take an internship
Degrees are great, but work experience is extremely impressive to a future employer and it makes you feel a million times better about your resume. It’s crummy work and usually awful pay but worth it in the long run. At least that’s what I keep telling myself as I spend an hour driving to and from the point of the mountain three times a week.
11. Finish college
Making money is great, but no job can replace the experience of getting a college education. I have a personal goal to receive an undergraduate degree before getting married and while maybe some don’t see this as a must, if you’re not getting married right now, take this time to really put the focus on your education.
12. Go to grad school
If you’ve got the diploma in hand and your not really sure what your next move, as many recently graduated students are, why not do some more school? There is never a negative return on education.
13. Become financially independent
Rent, car insurance, heating, school, food, shopping addiction, air conditioning, cell phone, internet, cable, coffee, Netflix, running water, gas, travel, gym membership, Christmas tree, electricity, books, furniture, Spotify etc. It’s a lot isn’t it? And I am so far from it.
14. Learn a foreign language
This will also probably involve a passport.
15. Try out a new church
Maybe you’re just fine where you’re at or maybe you’re just too curious for your own good. Either way, it NEVER hurts to learn about what someone else believes. It can shed new light or maybe it can just help out an already sturdy foundation. I get that we’re all pretty stubborn but try not to be just for one Sunday afternoon.
16. Make an unlikely friend.
One day, sophomore year, before the days of driver’s licenses, a couple of friends and I were walking home from school when a cute old woman asked us to clean up the leaves in her front yard. It took all of five seconds and immediately stemmed this long-lasting friendship with 90-year-old Betty. All of high school she was our Grandma who brought us books to read and obsessed over what beautiful young women we had become as we posed on her front porch in our prom dresses. You just never know.
17. Do something bold with your hair
Chop Chop Chop!! The whole long hair don’t care thing is getting overrated.
18. Enjoy where you are now
Don’t always be looking to see what’s around the next corner. Enjoy the here and now. If you’re in college, go to parties and get late night shakes. If you’re working a crummy job, be the best darn burger flipper Wendy’s has ever seen.
19. Create a few “I Could Die Right Now” moments
You know those days where things are so good or something so incredible happens that you just think, “If I were to die right now, I think I’d be okay with it.” Well? If you’re still lost on the concept I’ll help you out by sharing mine: (1) Hiking 10 miles through the night in the middle of the Arizona desert to reach the most miraculous aqua blue waterfall you never thought could exist. (2) Having your all-too-stubborn of a father tell the story of how he left home to escape to the desert and play the song he wrote to go along with it. (3) Witnessing 10,000 gleaming paper lanterns, all at once, float into the night sky with thousands of hopes, dreams, and wishes written on them.
20. Be responsible for your own happiness
Please please don’t ever think that marriage is an easy way out or a crutch for dealing with the hard stuff that life dishes out. Learn to generate your own happiness by realizing that there are going to be times when you are the only one responsible for your successes, failures, and ultimate joy.
There you have it. I don’t want anyone to think that I despise marriage or this list is meant to scold wives and future wives everywhere. In contrary, I am so excited for the day it happens for me and I know that I think about it way too much. But in reference to #18, it’s going to make you much happier to enjoy being where are now and making the most of the current position of your time clock than to dote on where others are on theirs. So do everything on this list or nothing at all, but realize that there will come a day when you can no longer make-out with strangers or stay out till five every weekend. So enjoy the now and do it all while you’re young.