I don’t mean to bash Charter—and by that, I mean I definitely mean to bash Charter. As a disloyal customer for the last two years, I legally earned the right to do so, or let’s at least hope I have that right. I don’t mean to be offensive towards Charter subscribers, but let’s be real, anyone who can get on the Internet to read this, probably didn’t use Charter.
To the fortunate few who are asking, what is Charter… Charter provides Internet; or that’s what they say they do. Has your Internet ever been slow or cut out? You can probably thank Charter. Have you thought about changing Internet providers? Good luck switching to their non-existent competition. Believe me when I say Charter is the source of all your problems. Charter is as lovable as that person you hate, as awkward as your ex, and as up to date as Donald Trump. Here are the times you want to throw your laptop and Charter straight out the window:
When Charter cuts out when you have to finish that homework that is due in 10 minutes:
When Charter flirts with you by loading part of your episode and then decides to go on vacation for a week as you wait patiently:
When Charter plays hide and seek:
When Charter pretends to play stupid. Like, I didn’t know you wanted to be connected to the Internet!
When Charter keeps calling you to ask what you think of their service:
When you tell them, “No, I don’t want to upgrade. Yes I want to cancel. No I still don’t want to upgrade”:
When the Charter executives take all your hard-earned booze money:
Yeah, this is just slow Internet I’m complaining about, but I’m not gonna address the real issues. That’s way too much work. If you can think of any alternative to throwing my laptop out the window, just let me know.