Have you ever wondered who came up with the phrase “absence makes the heart grow fonder” and whether that person was involved in a long distance relationship? The truth is, when many miles separate you and your lover, keeping your connection strong is tough regardless of your fondness for each other.
Many people believe long distance relationships are never going to work out. Your family may discourage it and your best friends may advise you not to take it seriously, in case you get your heart broken. Nobody said it was going to be easy; at least no one I know would. In fact this has been the most bittersweet experience that I have ever been through and I’m sure anyone can relate if they’re in a LDR themselves. It is bitter because the extra distance makes many things harder. Everything is a lot more complicated, and at times it feels like you’re alone; after a while it becomes disheartening. However, LDR’s can be sweet because it makes all the simplest things worthwhile. Being able to hold the other person’s hand, eating together at the same table, feeling each other’s touch, taking a walk, even if it’s just a walk from your dorm room to the bus stop; these are things you appreciate more than usual because they’re so rare. I enjoy just being able to look at him, physically standing there smiling. That alone makes all the hard work worth it.
Instead of everyone in my life being so negative about my LDR I wish they could just support me and give me better advice other than to run away. If loved ones are telling you the same, don’t run away. If there is one big thing I have learned on my own while being committed to this LDR is that there is a silver lining, you just have to try to find it.
There are so many easy steps you can take to keep the LDR fired up. The most important one, which helps me, is setting ground rules to manage your expectations. Both of you need to be clear with what you expect of with each other during this LDR. Honesty is the next big thing! Without honesty being the big policy, there will be no success. Communication is vital. I wake up to a “good morning” text and I fall asleep to a “goodnight” text, also.
And ladies, don’t be afraid to send cute little messages for your honey to read right when he wakes up. It’s the little things that count the most; from my own experience, he loves it just as much as I do. With today’s technology, there is so much you can do; phone calls, texts, Skype, Facetime or even the old fashioned way of sending a letter in the mail. Those are my favorite! Keeping up communication will help ease any concerns.
And don’t forget, you need to live your life too! Maintain your friendships and personal interests! Never lose sight of where your life is going. And if all this is handled correctly, each partner can become much more productive and well-developed; you can grow together while apart! Most importantly, both of you will have more to bring to the relationship in the end.