When you truly love someone no amount of distance should make any difference. I know I’m oversimplifying it a little, for there are plenty of couples who are in love that don’t last after trying long distance, but I truly believe that if you are really meant to be together you will be. It may be extremely hard but when you are reunited you know it was all worth it. When you conquer distance, it feels like you can conquer just about anything. For me, it was worth it and I know it made our relationship stronger. If you are about to be reunited with your significant other after being separated for a long period of time, keep in mind that things may be rocky for the first week or two. Here are some of my suggestions on handling the reunion with your love.
Distance changes relationships. You go from seeing each other a few times a week and casually texting to texting all day, every day with no physical contact. If you are separated long enough, this will start to seem like the norm for you. But when you are reunited the relationship shifts again. You don’t need to text or snapchat constantly because you can actually see them in person. When I was reunited with my long distance boyfriend, I didn’t really take that into consideration. I’m naturally a very talkative person sometimes so this is reflected in my normal texting. But I will admit, I was writing novels. And when he didn’t answer, I pulled that clingy girlfriend-thing where I took it personally. So I would try harder for attention, leading to more novels. And then I’d get anxious because I realized I must have seemed like a giant weirdo. Or I’d just get snippy and angry when he answered. I was just trying to talk to him more but instead I was putting a wedge in our relationship.
It is healthy to not be in constant communication with someone, but when the transition is so abrupt it’s rough. If you’re at all like me, you may struggle to adjust. The biggest word of advice I have is to give your significant other space. Yes, you love them. But do they need to know what you ate for breakfast? No. Stop texting them 24/7 and only text them the important stuff. And if you do still text them a lot, don’t be surprised if they don’t always answer back or don’t give you messages of the same quality that you sent them. Most importantly, don’t take it personally.
That being said: don’t lose all of your communication skills completely. You don’t need to share every miniscule detail of your life, but you also can’t drop off the face of planet earth. Just because you are now able to physically be together doesn’t mean that you should stop communicating. If you ignore your significant other, you are probably going to end up with a stage-5 clinger (ahem, sorry, babe). More importantly, you will drive a wedge in the relationship if you don’t talk. You still need to be able to speak up and tell your bae how you feel so you can make the adjustment better for both of you. A relationship is all about balance.
Even if you are communicating perfectly fine, sometimes when we are reunited with someone we haven’t seen in a while it can feel a little awkward. When I saw my boyfriend over the summer I struggled to hold a conversation for at least a good hour. It’s hard to get back into the groove of things once you’ve been away. To combat the awkwardness, plan a few dates to get the ball rolling. Go on a walk, go out to dinner, or maybe just cuddle up and talk. Soon you’ll start to slide back into your normal grove of things.
Things may be rocky or uncomfortable once you make it back to each other, but I promise it gets better. You may squabble or fail at communicating for a little while, but in the long run it doesn’t mean anything. The love you share for each other won’t just go away because of one rough week. Like I said in the letter I wrote to my boyfriend over the summer, “you mean everything to me and you are one of my favorite people in the world.” I stand by that, even after the time that has passed. Distance sucks and on some level so does the reunion, but it will only make your relationship stronger.
Image credit: author’s own