Back to school in South Bend. It’s generally a happy time for everyone. Notre Dame Football is upon us. Ring pictures in front of of the Bell Tower fill our Instagram feeds. We’re reunited with our besties- and almost as importantly-their closets. Life is good. Until you find yourself in an awkward conversation with someone you kinda-sorta know.
You know who I’m talking about. Maybe she lived in your hall freshmen year, maybe she’s from your hometown, or you have a mutual friend. Whatever the connection is, they’re a person that you know you’re supposed to have a conversation with, yet you don’t really have anything concrete to say to one another. So your brain turns gears in your head. Hopefully you’ll remember her name or recall an icebreaker that reminds you to tell a joke, compliment what she’s wearing, or when all else fails…talk about the weather. Once you get past the “Hey/hi/what’s up/ nothing/same” you’re gonna need some more ammo to get you through. Keep these tucked in your back pocket to throw out at the perfect time.
When she grabs a seat by you in class…
“Oh my God I am so tired.”
It’s eleven o’clock in the morning. This is my first class. I slept for nine hours. I just chugged a cup of coffee. I’m not tired at all. I can yawn on demand though. So as far as you know, I didn’t get a wink of sleep last night and now you can let me “be tired” in peace without expecting much conversation from me. Win-win.
When you’re riding up the elevator together for a commute you know could’ve been done on the stairs…
“Literally, I walked inside. Thought about climbing three flights of stairs and instantly realized it was a bad idea.
“Oh my God. No same. Like not today. Today is just not my day.”
Hopefully you can drag it out long enough to your stop. But if not, have fun talking about how the stairs get you so out of breath and how maybe you should go to Angela every once in a while for the next five minutes.
When you’re getting cereal from the NFDH…
“I never know what to get. I feel like I’m never satisfied after my dinner. I like always end with a bowl of cereal.”
“Same”
Also feel free to add in what type of cereal you wish was here and how you really miss Honey Nut Cheerios. That’ll keep the conversation going until you’re ready for milk.
When you’re waiting for a cab…
“Oh my God! Such a cute top? Where’d you get it?”
“(insert store/designer here)”
“Oh really? I love that place. They always have the best stuff. Such a good find.”
If you’re a step above “kinda-sorta know” and almost at acquaintances…she might even follow up with “Thanks so much! You can borrow it any time!”
She doesn’t actually mean it, but fingers crossed.
When you pass each other (twice) on your walk to/from the Grotto and the Lakes
“It’s such a nice day for a walk!”
“I know!”
Cricket. Cricket.
If while reading this you’ve checked off every awkward conversation you’ve had with someone you kinda-sorta-know, then thank God I am not alone. If you disagree with me completely, sorry for being slightly anti-social. If while reading this you thought, “Hey, she’s said that to me before” then consider this a piece of fiction.