Maybe you’re sitting in class, you’re waiting to get off an airplane or you just tucked yourself into bed. Or, perhaps you’re strolling through the mall or walking home from class when it hits you: you really have to… go. It seems that any time you’re in a place where immediately relieving yourself is not an option, the need for a bathroom increases tenfold. While you’re searching for a ladies’ room or waiting for an acceptable time to excuse yourself, it seems impossible to think of anything other than your desperate desire to pee. Here are 24 things that go through every girl’s head when she really, really has to pee.
1. Don’t think about water. Don’t think about waterfalls. Don’t think about running faucets. Don’t think about flowing rivers.
2. If I stand up right now I may not be able to hold it, so I should probably just stay seated.
3. Wait, this actually really hurts.
4. Why am I in so much pain?
5. Is this what being pregnant will be like all the time? If it is, there’s no way I’m having kids.
6. Clench!
7. Maybe if I cross my legs I won’t have to go anymore.
8. Do you think the people around me notice that I keep shifting from side to side? It’s called the pee dance, people – sorry about it.
9. Can holding your pee cause serious heath problems?
10. Oh, no. It’s coming.
11. Where the hell is the nearest bathroom?
12. Could I sneak into Starbucks and use their bathroom without the barista noticing?
13. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming…
14. Class is over in seven minutes. I can totally make it.
15. Who am I kidding? There’s no way I can wait seven more minutes.
16. I hope nobody says anything funny. Laughing right now would be bad news.
17. Can people tell that I’m waddling like a penguin right now?
18. This is so uncomfortable.
19. I can’t even talk to people. Focusing on a conversation is the last thing I could do right now.
20. I hate being a girl. Boys can hold it forever, but I have to go like every 20 minutes.
21. Is that bush tall enough for me to squat behind?
22. Suddenly a GoGirl doesn’t seem like the worst idea in the world.
23. Oh look, a bathroom! Thank goodness!
And when you finally reach the ladies’ room…
24. Ahhh, sweet relief. Now I can get back to my day.