Name: Christ Heath
Year: Fresher
Subject: Maths
Relationship Status: Single
How do you feel to be chosen as a campus cutie?
It’s all I’ve ever wanted in life! My mum’s finally proud of me and my self esteem is higher than ever.
Where are you most likely to be found around Durham?
In the science site working hard or in klute hardly working (or functioning).
What would be your perfect first date?
It’s not about the date itself; it’s the girl who’s on it. Cheeky bonus if you like long walks on the beach and talking about emotion whilst staring dreamily into each others eyes.
Best moment in Durham so far?
Enjoyed singing Taylor Swift in a leopard print thong in front of the whole of college… So much regret but I’m trying to shake it off.
Best chat-up line
Hey girl, were you born on a chicken farm? Cos you certainly know how to raise a cock. (Note for the lads: this one has a brilliant 7% success rate)
Any lucky ladies you have your eye on?
Not lucky ones.
What’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever done?
See below question.
Most embarrassing moment with a girl?
See above question.
So what is the answer to the previous two questions?
Singing “Your Song” to a girl with their parents present. In Switzerland in a mountain chalet.
What’s your biggest turn-off?
Poor chat.
If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Paraguay/Bolivia. All the gap yah rah’s here in Durham seem to have gone to Peru and Brazil so lets be hipster and get one over them.
If you were to open a new nightclub in Durham, what would it be called?
“Regret”. We’re coming for you Klute.
Describe yourself in three words.
Mediocre, average, bland.
“I am happiest when…”?
Slightly tipsy enjoying some good chat with the lads and the lasses.
“I am saddest when…”?
I don’t get sad, I get awesome.
Celebrity crush:
Very big on Jessica Alba but I’d be lying if I didn’t whack David Beckham in there as a fellow metrosexual.
What’s the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?
Jump out of bed with a jolly spring in my step before saying good morning to everyone I see.
What’s on your Durham bucket-list?
Playing beer pong at wiffwaff… I mean seriously why is it even called that. Oh and a quaddie of quaddies at klute whilst still making it to “that’s amore”.
Any final words for the girls of Durham?
Yes.