This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Tampa chapter.
Don’t lie, you know this has gone through your head after waking up from a night out with your girls.
1. Oh my god, the light.. It’s burning into my poor decrepit soul.
2. My tongue is equivalent to the Sahara.
3. Waaaaterrrrr!
4. My head is imploding.
5. I feel like a newborn baby deer.
6. Every time I sneeze it feels like I have to puke.
7. One sudden movement = a tornado of migraines swirling in my skull.
8. Why meeeee??
9. I need Jesus!
10. What even happened last night?
11. And wait, how did I get home?
12. I’m definitely still wearing the same clothes from last night.
13. And my feet are killing me.
14. Oh my god did I do the walk of shame in my tiny dress?
15. Check the contacts!!
16. I called Campus Safety at 2:37 am?!
17. Great. Now Campus Safety thinks I’m a degenerate.
18. My life is corrupt. I am ashamed.
19. And I smell like cigs and bad decisions, that’s nice.
20. Wait.. What is that huge bruise on my knee from?
21. Oh that’s right, I ate sh*t when I tried to run.
22. I hope no one saw that, or anyone important at least.
23. I definitely had a 20 minute conversation with the bathroom attendant. She’s so sweet.
24. Was I trying to talk to one of the bouncers too? I hope my eyes weren’t closed.
25. Did I hook up with… no. No, don’t even think about it.
26. Should I look through pictures on my phone?
27. Yeah okay let’s do that.
28. Scrolling scrolling scrolling… OH GOD, WHO EVEN IS THAT?
29. Did that guy buy me shots?
30. That guy bought me shots!
31. Damn it, I gotta start saying no to shots.
32. ….but they’re so free. And so am I.
33. Ew. I don’t even want to think about shots right now.
34. Or drinking.
35. I swear to God I’m never drinking again.
36. Looking through these pictures are just making me nauseous anyways.
37. Put down the phone.
38. Wait, but I have text messages.
39. Who’s Carl?
40. He’s in my World Drumming class?
41. I don’t even take World Drumming.
42. But he is taking me to Bern’s Steakhouse this Saturday… Free steak or nah?
43. No, stop it. You don’t even know who he is.
44. Whatever, I’m a poor college student anyways.
45. Oh no… My wallet. Do I dare check my bank account?
46. I’ll leave that for tomorrow. Meal plans for days!
47. Eff it. I mean, this guy isn’t even that bad looking.
48. Dang girl you go!
49. Werk that up do.
50. Oh sh*t I kept doing that thing where I introduce myself as an “independent woman who don’t need no man.”
51. And proceeded to twerk.
52. I really need to stop doing that.
53. Eff it I’m the twerk master. Connoisseur of all twerks, fine art of twerking… Museum of fine twerks.
54. Alright I’m going to text him back.
55. “Haha last night was so fun! And you’re really cute btw. ;)” Send.
56. Nononono not to Dad! …Sh*t.
57. Curse you dollar beers.