5 Reasons Why the iWatch Will Get Your Life Together

Let’s get real. Everytime Apple comes out with a new product the late night commedy shows and The Onion bubble with excitement; the new material they are about to get is priceless. Of course everyone remembers the endless iTampon jokes that followed with the announcement of the iPad. So this time, Her Campus CUA is jumping on board. Here’s the 5 things we can’t help but poke fun at.

1. “Most Personal Product Yet” Okay Apple we get it… the iPhone didn’t keep us connected. Twtitter apps, facebook, instagram? They didn’t go far enough. Oh and dont forget the fact that my Mom can now see if I actually read her text message with read receipets…or you know, her ability to video chat with me from hundreds of miles away on a device that can fit in my back pocket. Nope, the iWatch is needed so that couples can send each other their heartbeats. Making out in Starbucks is so 2013 PDA. 

2. The New Tinder: The  Apple advertisement rhetoric is basically insinuating all iWatch wearers will be drawn to each other. Catholic Mingle, eHarmony: get ready to go out of business guys. Nothing beats the sexual chemistry of two iWatch wearers.

3. SO Precise: It wasn’t enough that a majority of the world lives their life according to the iPhone time. Nope. The iWatch fixes the dire problem we face of non-precise, inaccurate time keeping. The iWatch will now be accurate within 50 milliseconds of the definite standard global time.  Because my boss actually keeps track of when I clock into work within 50 milliseconds. 

4. Fitness Don’t worry everyone. Michelle Obama, and Apple teamed up. We aren’t exercising enough, so now our wrist will notify us to when we need to stop sitting and start getting fit. I’m just hoping it goes off during my 75 minute lecture on Wednesday’s so I will have an “excused absence” to hit the road. 

5.  Stylish and Trendy Sticking to tradition, Apple has launched the iWatch in a variety of colors and designs, so you can now conveniantly demonstrate you are a walking advertisement for being a slave to the trends. #Basic -Apple- #Nation

All photos are curtesty of www.Apple.com and these reviews are purely satire*