It’s well known how scary/exciting/stressful/confusing it can be to try and re-enter the world of dating after breaking off a long term relationship, and as we singletons enter the period of being bombarded with lovey-doveyness and “why haven’t you found a new love interest?” from relatives, I thought I’d share some of my experiences. I had a surprisingly amicable end to my two year relationship about six months ago, and for the first month or two I shifted between bursts of independent woman sassiness and lying in a blanket with food watching Disney films and feeling sorry for myself (I’m sure many of you can relate.)
After I’d adjusted to the single life, I faced one serious dilemma- what on earth do I do now? I’d like to say that I’m capable of getting through life without a man, but I started to miss the little things like always having someone to see that awful looking movie with, or a constant ear to rant about even the smallest things to. I’ve never actively gone looking for romance in the past, but many of my friends have had good experiences with Tinder so I thought I’d give it a go. After about half an hour of “no way is he 25 he looks about 12” and “but what if he’s an a******?!”, the app was deleted and I was back to square one. Works for so many others, but sadly just not my style.
So now with what seems like the central point of modern dating a no-go, I started to think about my other options. I had quite a few nights out on the horizon and having been with my ex since before I turned 18, the prospect of getting my flirt on actually seemed quite exciting. This plan also failed miserably. After one night out, I’d experienced awful forced conversations, running away from middle aged men who had no concept of personal boundaries and being bought a drink by one attractive guy who was all over the next closest girl after I’d barely had a chance to say thanks. Yet again- just not for me! I’m beginning to sound very picky; my luck is just non existent.
So after a failed few weeks of attempting to put myself back out there, I had a long think and realised all my problems were coming from the fact I was trying. When I’ve met guys in the past, it’s always been very natural and just sort of happened. This is something I’ve got used to and is definitely what works best for me. I’m happy waiting for the right time with the right person, whenever that is. And in the meantime, you don’t need a S.O. to have a good time- break ups make you realise just how important friends are, and I’m glad I didn’t toss them aside when I was in a relationship. I’m not resentful towards Valentine’s Day at all, it can be a really nice time for couples. But this year, Valentines is going to be spent with my friends and I can’t wait!