I’m sure you’re already tired of hearing about this book and soon-to-be movie. From the hundreds of YouTube videos humorously forcing people to read 50 Shades of Grey’s more titillating bits out loud to the book quotes that made Twilight look like a Pulitzer Prize winning novel, there’s been a lot of controversy over whether the book is famous or grossly infamous. Farther along the 50 Shades frenzy of last year, however, people started uncovering aspects of the book much more troubling than the bad writing and weird popularity with middle-aged mothers.
The Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism (BDSM) community and non-BDSM readers alike attacked the book for its attempts to romanticize a physically and emotionally abusive relationship. “BDSM is about mutual care, mutual pleasure, and mutual respect,” Katherine O’Clare, a rape survivor and member of the BDSM community, wrote in her article on Crushable. “Too often BDSM has been misunderstood or grossly warped and conflated with abuse,” O’Clare added. “A mainstream novel that equates BDSM with emotional abuse will only affirm false conceptions of what bondage and discipline really entails.”
Many other readers were also disgusted with the way Christian Grey treated the sexually inexperienced Anastasia Steele, who was often coerced into participating in what he called his “singular taste,” but in an ironic and hilarious twist, the movie’s two main stars, Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson, seem to hate it more than anyone else. Jamie Dornan, the actor bringing Christian Grey to life, felt disconcerted regarding scenes in the “Red Room,” where some of the book’s most memorable (infamous?) scenes take place. In an interview with Glamour, James Dorman said, “Some of the Red Room stuff was uncomfortable. There were times when Dakota was not wearing much, and I had to do stuff to her that I’d never choose to do to a woman.” In that same article, Dakota Johnson said, “Also there’s part of me that’s like, I don’t want anyone to see this movie.”
If it wasn’t enough that both stars had to keep reminding themselves that they were getting paid to do this movie, they have been rumored to hate each other even more than the roles they play.Â
“Nothing says “sexy fun” quite like standing as far away from each other as possible while still holding hands,” writes Madeleine Davies in her aptly named article “Fifty Shades of Grey Stars Can’t F-king Stand Each Other”. Davies has no reservations on pointing out that the leads’ body language, attitudes and words for each other are not exactly heart-warming. She writes, “The history of cinema includes plenty of actors who hated each other off-screen, but somehow managed to have amazing chemistry on film…Whether or not Dornan and Johnson hate each other is debatable, but based on their constant “get the f-k away from me” posture while in each other’s company, it really appears like they do.” Davies also dissects the stars’ onscreen chemistry, which she says is “equal to the chemistry of a couple of unboiled hot dogs.”Â
(Looks pretty unboiled to me.)
Maybe none of these details matter to you. Maybe you were going to go see the movie purely for the hate-watch or laugh factor anyway. Consider spending that $12 on something that won’t support a mainstream representation of a relationship that is not healthy or positive—or laughable, for that matter. Hundreds of thousands of women are victims of domestic abuse, and every year there are more than 293,000 victims of sexual assault. 50 Shades, no matter how silly and badly written, might be a catalyst to furthering the normalization of unequal, sexist power structures and the degradation of women in both the bedroom and in everyday life. The scenes in the book shouldn’t be seen as romantic or even kinky—it’s abuse. And that shouldn’t be supported, even if you’re going to the movies for a laugh. Instead we should take this movie/book’s unprecedented success as a conversation starter for real issues many real life women face, and to take a closer look at what our society values and puts at the forefront of popular culture.
Finally, here’s some better things you can do instead of spending money on 50 Shades: Feed the homeless
- Donate to a woman’s shelter
- Donate to a pet shelter
- Pet a dog
- Plant a tree
- Watch grass grow
- Go see Into the Woods
- Contemplate your place in the universe
- Pet a dog again, And last but not least…
- Fold your socks (free of charge!)
And, if anything, I should mention that despite heavily promoting how close it is to Valentine’s Day, the movie is literally premiering on Friday, February 13th.
Charming.