So you’ve just finished unpacking your things, you’ve said your goodbyes and are full of the wide-eyed innocence only freshers can hope to possess. You hit the fresher fair with dreams of endless possibilities and instead find that you’ve accidentally signed up to football even though you’ve never played before.
‘Try it,’ they said. ‘It’ll be fun,’ they said.
Fast forward a month and you find yourself so intoxicated that weighing up the pros and cons of snorting pepper or strawpedo-ing another bottle of wine seems like a legitimate debate.
We all know about the standard initiation process – cross dressing, drinking games, fines, swimming in the river (not advisable for anybody) – , but I asked around for a few shockers and here are my findings…
Lancaster Unviversity
First up we have the Lancaster University Waterpolo Team. Every year the youngest male and female members to join the team form Team Junior at the initiation; a couple of years back the lucky Mr Junior received a special straw as a reward for his youth. Plainly put, the straw consisted of a raw fish, left on the windowsill for a week which then had its insides carved out to form a tube. Naturally, he was forced to drink from the fish’s mouth all night.
Need photographic evidence?
London RVC
Down in London’s RVC, the fish theme continued as the women’s fresher rowing team were made to drink a concoction of sardines, vodka and WKD in between swilling and passing round shots of Sambuca. The team then ventured out in the snow, crawling while being pelted with eggs and flour; needless to say that by ten o’clock there were only two out of thirty girls left conscious, and the aisle on the train home was described to me as ‘literally a sea of chunder’…nice. There was a photo, but you don’t want to see it.
While the initiation itself may be considered a total failure if it didn’t leave you with a killer two-day hangover and complete loss of dignity, there are plenty of initiation stories that have had more lasting effects…
Once again in London, an initiation was so drunken that one girl fell off the roof at the host’s house and landed on a pole. An actual pole. And it went you-know-where. If that doesn’t make you wince, not much will; luckily, the source noted, the pole was horizontal (if there was ever a silver lining this is definitely it). A rush to A&E and seven stiches later and she was allowed to recover in peace, not only from the surgery but from the trauma of initiation.
Imperial
Imperial is well-known for it’s cohort of medics they taken in year after year. With some of the brightest brains in the country these people will go on to become our doctors, consultants and surgeons. But, they haven’t always been the one in the white coat that you entrust your whole life to. No. This year’s Fresher Medic Male Rowing intake were made to get on a tube and, at a previously specified stop get completely naked on the tube and jump out onto the platform. What followed was a game of chicken, with the last person to jump back onto tube crowned with eternal glory and a smug knowingness that the school-children in his carriage had been scarred the most.
Are initiations out of control or just good fun? The jury is out, but next time you find yourself at one, remember: fish are friends, not food.