Let me paint the picture. It starts off perfect; he’s calling your every night, taking you a sandwich to class, and maybe even going out to the coolest parties with you. You’re having the time of your life, and as the months pass, you settle into a routine. After a while, your friends, your parents, and maybe even yourself, start to notice little flaws in him. You may even start to notice changes in yourself. So…what is normal and what is not? Is YOUR relationship toxic?
Are you being controlled?
When you’re getting ready for a girls night out, does he/she make you change your outfit because they does not approve? Do you have to ask permission to leave? These are some strong warning signs that your relationship is toxic. If he/she doesn’t give you your space, gets possessive or overly jealous if you’re talking to another guy/girl, or even goes through your phone, you need to be careful. This is not a healthy relationship and definitely no way for an individual to live. Love is being able to let the other person go to grow and live life and not about keeping them caged and restricted.
Have you lost yourself?
There are your common changes that occur when your relationships. Relationships are supposed to make you into the best version of yourself. They’re supposed to help you with communication skills, help you aspire to be a better person, be honest, loyal, selfless, and a bunch of other traits. However, if you are becoming obsessive of your boyfriend, and have changed into a person that your younger self would not recognize because of it, than beware. You should not lose yourself in a relationship and become someone just to conform to your partner’s wishes.
Is there abuse present?
Do you call each other and scream at one another every other day? Calling each other names, blowing up the phone when the other won’t answer, and then turning the blame onto the other person is a sign of abuse in a relationship. Also, any kind of hitting is an absolute “NO NO” and is the biggest sign that your relationship has turned toxic and should be terminated. According to the Domestic Abuse Shelter of the Florida Keys, one in three women will be abused at some point in their life.
Understandably, it can be extremely difficult for an individual to get out of an abusive and toxic relationship. Fortunately, there’s always help. You can call 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224 if you ever need to talk or have any questions. There’s also the University Counseling Center that can offer assistance. If you feel that you or a friend are in immediate danger, call 911 or NDSP.
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