When it comes to hanging out, it’s easy to stick to one or two close friends. But what do you do when you want company but bestie A is studying for a huge exam and bestie B ditches you for her boyfriend (god forbid)? Why do we hesitate to cast a wider net when it comes to making new friends, when friending outside of our immediate circle is actually a good thing?
Reason 1: I’m an introvert
I feel you on this one. I’m the girl who keeps her mouth shut in group projects because I’m afraid I’ll offend someone if I disagree with their ideas. But guess what helped me become less of an introvert? Reaching out to people! Asking someone to hang out is a confidence booster, and it feels good to know that you left your comfort zone to make a new friend.
Reason 2: I don’t want to seem weird
We all have those quasi-friends– that funny girl we laugh with in class, the friend-of-friend that we’ve waved to at parties– but we’re often scared of reaching out in fear of seeming “creepy”. In reality, asking her to hang out is more likely to make her feel special, not freaked out. Don’t doubt yourself: You could be missing out on a great friendship if you do. And let’s be honest, isn’t it weirder to secretly pour over her Instagram than to ask her to grab coffee?
Reason 3: I’m broke
There are plenty of ways to break the ice that don’t require shelling out big bucks. If she’s in your class, ask her to study with you for the next test. If you both like poetry, invite her to the next on-campus reading. If you both love running, pick a sunny day to run laps around the track. If you guys have a mutual friend who splits their time between the two of you, decide to bridge the gap by going out as a group next weekend.
Reason 4: I don’t know what to talk about with a sort-of-stranger!
It sounds simple, but figure out what you guys have in common. If its class or a student organization, you have plenty of material to break the ice. If she’s a friend of a friend, ask her about how she met your mutual friend. And if that fails, ask her about herself! Remember, people love talking about themselves.
Whatever your excuse is for staying in your friend-comfort-zone, forget it this week and challenge yourself to spend time with someone you want to get to know better. When it comes to friends, the more the merrier, right?