Most of us have wanted to exchange more words with a human than, “Hey, how are you?” “Good, you?” “‘M Good!” Honestly, small talk is one of the most painful acts of horrific mortification we awkward people must perform every single day of our lives. Unless you’re completely self-sufficient and you live alone– in which case, props to you–you’re forced to do it. But most of us dread the seemingly innocuous form of basic interaction–the insidious “small talk.” However, this quick guide will take you from changing your path because you don’t want to run into that chick you awkwardly talked to a few times in your bio class last year to walking perfectly fine through your path and welcoming the inevitable small talk that will ensue as you’re near her.
1. Think about her as a source of information
Have you ever wondered what Economic Justice was really about? Ask her what her favorite class is. People love nothing more than to talk about their favorite things. If she doesn’t have a favorite class, ask her why. If she starts giving short answers, she’s probably a little bit annoyed, in which case it’s probably not worth talking much to her. Even if whatever she likes isn’t very interesting to you, pursue the topic for the sake of acquiring knowledge.
2. Wear something you love
It could be a shirt for your favorite TV show, your adorable little purse, your awesome trippy pants. Dye your hair, get a unique tattoo (unless your parents or guardians are against it). Basically, decorate yourself the way that you think represents your aesthetic values. On a college campus, you are bound to find someone who says she loves your Supernatural shirt and asks you where you bought it. You can tell her you bought it at Hot Topic and ask her if she’s excited for the tenth season. If she walks by you as she compliments your shirt, she probably just wanted to briefly express her love of Supernatural as she was going to class. However, if she keeps engaging in the conversation, be sure to ask her about her interests, too. Then branch it out to her name, major, and where she’s from!
3. Ask about her day
Whether you are the most awkward person on earth or a suave debonair, people thoroughly enjoy talking about themselves. Ask them what they did today (depending on how familiar you are with them). Usually, in order to not perpetuate awkwardness, give a general idea of how their day went and they will ask you the same. When it’s your time to reply, open up a little about your day to give her an opportunity to ask you about it. If she doesn’t ask you any questions, you have two options: comment on something about the present moment or stay silent. Awkward silences, though absolutely unpleasant and terrifying, are terminable and reversible.
4. Don’t take it seriously
By “don’t take it seriously,” I don’t mean to hurl insults at her. I mean to not tense up if you trip or spit an enormous amount of saliva–just laugh at yourself. No, don’t laugh nervously, either. Just laugh. It’s pretty funny to see someone trip. The thing is, we are so hypervigilant of other people laughing at us for doing something ungraceful because we secretly think it’s funny when other people do. But minutes later, we stop caring and focus on our own lives. Don’t be afraid of your clumsiness and acknowledge gracelessness as a realistic part of socialization.
5. Make an excuse to leave if necessary
If you’re feeling the conversation die out, that is, you can’t think of anything else to say or the other person isn’t saying anything–make up a reasonable excuse and leave. Chances are, the conversation got really boring, or it was awkward in the first place. Don’t think of it as a failed conversation–think of it as a lack of natural chemistry. It happens! You click with some people and you don’t with others. However, if the person ends up asking for your number, you can give her your number, but you don’t have to say yes to her text to grab dinner.
6. ***FOR INJURED PEOPLE***
DUDE, are you in luck! You wouldn’t think so, but when it comes to small talk…you really are. I’m on crutches currently, and to be honest, I haven’t the faintest idea why. I believe it was through running. It’s almost a stress fracture! Well, it doesn’t matter. So many people have gone up to me or have asked me in the elevator how my injury came to be, and the only thing I can tell them is that I don’t know or that I think it was through running. I even made a few injured acquaintances as well by asking them how they received their injuries and how long they were going to stay injured!
The way I see it, small talk is painful at first, but the more you practice it, the easier it gets. It is a tool that can be used to acquire information, friendships, and even jobs (job interviews). You don’t have to go out of your way to talk to people at first, but once you have the confidence from all the practice you’re getting, you’ll most likely be the first one to approach the girl from your bio class last year.