It is a new week and we’re back with our next set of questions and answers from yours truly. I am more than elated that you all have been submitting thought-provoking questions. This week, I will be answering some more questions that I hope will be both helpful and beneficial to everyone in some way. With that being said, let’s just get to it.
Anonymous Asked: If I have a child is it possible to have a normal life and relationship?
First off, what do you see as being a “normal” life? If your idea of having a normal life is having fun and doing what you want when you want all of the time, I would say no. What does a “normal” relationship consist of? I’m only asking you because I do not want to make my own assumptions about what you see as normal. I definitely do not think that you can live a normal life once you have a child. I am saying this because my definition of a normal life is a life where you only have to worry about yourself.
This doesn’t mean it is a bad thing, but as a parent, you now have someone else that you are responsible for. Having children definitely is a huge responsibility. There will be times when you have to sacrifice things for your son or daughter. When it comes to relationships, you can have a normal relationship as long as you are both on the same page when it comes to the child.
In my opinion, the child comes first and once they are taken care of, then you can do other things. This does not mean that life cannot be fun and enjoyable. I definitely don’t want you to get that idea. I just know that you have to make sure the kid is good. That’s what a good parent does. I’m sure that your child is making your life enjoyable also. So I suggest that you ask yourself what “normal” really is, but enjoy your life and relationships and do not get the idea that you cannot be happy and live life. I hope this was helpful.
Anonymous Asked: I’m white and the majority of my boyfriends have been black. This year, I started dating a white guy, who has the same qualities as all my other boyfriends. He’s just not the same race. My friends, both black and white, have made comments like “You’re finally dating your type.” What the hell gives?
Race is always a touchy subject when it comes to dating and relationships. People will always have their views and opinions about interracial dating. I cannot tell you exactly why that is because it is so complex, but some people just are not used to seeing people of different races dating each other.
The good thing about you is that you obviously see more than race, since you said that you are dating a white guy with the same qualities as the black guys you’ve dated in the past. It shows that you see more than the exterior, but everybody doesn’t think the way you do. It seems that they see the white guy as your type simply because you two are of the same race. Some people tend to associate their type solely on external appearance. My suggestion is that you shouldn’t really think about it too much. It will not be the first nor last time you hear something regarding who you are dating. It’s obvious your friends don’t really know what your type is. One thing people have never had an issue with is sharing their opinions. I tell my friends that opinions aren’t facts. Take them in and let them go.
Anonymous Asked: I’m not one for public displays of affection or any form public exposure of my love life, however the guy that I am with feels slighted because I don’t bring him around my friends. It’s nothing personal, it’s just how I operate. Now he’s in ultimatum mode and idk what to do…
How long have you been with this guy? I totally respect and understand how you feel about PDA, but the amount time that you’ve been with this guy should slightly change that. I’m not saying you have to kiss in public and do all of the things some people do in public. I am referring to you bringing him around your friends. I do not know how long you’ve been with him, but if it has been an extended amount of time, the guy may feel like you are ashamed to be in the public with him.
This all depends on how long you’ve been together though. It’s not a bad thing to be against PDA, but if you are with someone and you care about them, you should be happy to let him meet your friends at some point in time. You don’t want him to feel like you only like him in private settings.
If you haven’t been dating for a long time (2 weeks…1 month..2 months), you just need to let him know how you feel about PDA and meeting friends early in a relationship. COMMUNICATE. You never want to just assume that he knows how you feel about PDA and meeting your friends. It’ll make things much easier.
Anonymous Asked: Dear Izzy. I see you all the time on campus. I want to speak to you but I am afraid to because you seem so intimidating. You’re the man on campus. What do I do?
Oh, wow. I’m answering this question because I’ve been getting this whole “intimidation” comment a lot lately. I promise you that I am probably one of the most approachable and friendly people you will ever meet. I’m just tall and I often have a serious look on my face. You should come and talk to me. I’m not the man out here though (Lol). I’m just a student trying to be successful and utilizing my collegiate experience. There is no reason why I should be called “The Man.” With that being said, say what’s up when you see me on campus. Introduce yourself. If I knew who you were, I’d introduce myself first. Unfortunately that cannot happen because you submitted this question anonymously. I hope to meet you soon. Best Wishes.