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The BC Guy’s Take on Hooking Up

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at BC chapter.

Girls, you asked and we found out! What is the BC guy’s opinion on hooking up and dating? The answer may surprise you. Most say they would rather…date! I know what you’re thinking: then why do they all just hook-up on the weekends? Well, let’s think about that. Why do us girls hook-up on weekends… and then complain that all guys want to do is hook-up? The guys are all for hooking up (And we have to admit, it can be fun), but looking past that, they do want something steady!

Don’t believe me? Here’s what the guys had to say about it:

“Hooking up is fun when it comes to the weekends, but it’s that emotional attachment that really helps me on a day-to-day basis. And who doesn’t like feeling loved!” – Joe Bruzzese, 2016

“I believe dating is the best way to have a relationship. I have been dating my girlfriend for two and a half years, and I feel like having a healthy, authentic relationship has helped develop me as an individual. Hooking up can lead to potentially unhealthy relationships and self esteem issues.” – Anonymous, 2015

“For me personally, I am looking for someone to date, not to hook-up with. Hooking up with people is fine and fun, but at this point I would much rather deeply know and connect with a girl than hook-up with her at a party, to text every now and then only to eventually fade into each others’ respective memories.” -Zach Russell, 2016

“While I have had fun with the hook-up culture at BC, I have rarely found myself fulfilled by the girls I was hooking up with. I would wake up in the morning and question my morals. I have come to the point where every weekend is not about finding a girl to hook-up with. I try to think less about it and I have definitely become desensitized to an extent about the intimacy involved in hooking up.” – Matt, 2015

“Personally, I’m looking for a relationship. But there’s nothing wrong with one or the other. As long as everyone is respected for his or her choice, why does it matter?” – Alex, 2017

“I feel that dating is the way to go and that most guys would agree with that. The guys that say otherwise are simply trying to sound cool in a culture that promotes it. I cannot tell you how many conversations are had about hooking up. The majority of hook-ups seem to be for the story (for acceptance/to seem cool) or a brief moment of satisfaction rather than having any true meaning behind them. No guy in their right mind would meet a woman that he found striking and sweet and say that he would prefer to hook-up with her rather than go steady.” – Kevin*, 2016

“We don’t know how to date. Our generation doesn’t know how to go out for a friendly dinner or lunch date without thinking there is some ulterior motive or intention behind that action. We can’t be interested in a girl without them thinking something must or will lead to a relationship… In college, dating someone or being with someone quickly turns into a pseudo-marriage, which directly feeds our inclination to hook-up. Dating (being with someone) often feels constrictive… I’m in a very pleasing relationship at the moment…I guess I’ve come to understand that being committed to one person is much more fulfilling than meaningless sex. Yes, sex with multiple woman can be fun for a while, but nothing beats the beauty of real intimacy.” –Marcus*, 2015

“I personally would rather date girls than just hook-up with a bunch of different girls. Making meaningful relationships is a lot better than some drunken hook-up that the people might not even remember.” – Ryan*, 2017

“I actually would rather date a single, good girl.” – John Tozzi, 2016

“The idea of hooking up just seems too impersonal to me. I prefer being with one person who I deeply care about and doing fun things that we both enjoy. Even if you aren’t finding the “love of your life,” I think the whole experience is more appealing.” –Ryan Poor, 2016

“For most of my friend group, a lot of girls and some guys seem to have gotten tired of the hook-up culture now that we’re seniors–whether that’s because they’re looking for a steady boyfriend/girlfriend, they just don’t like the way hooking up makes them feel anymore, or whatever, the reasons seem to vary pretty evenly across the board from what I’ve heard. Senior year really is honestly pretty great as a guy, but I definitely find myself more and more at the crossroads of wanting a girlfriend versus just rolling with the tide.” –Robert*, 2014

So gals, next time, maybe we should stop and think before we say, “They’re all the same!” or, “They just want to hook-up!” BC guys deserve a little more credit than we give them. Political Science, Finance, Econ, History, Bio and Communication majors may not all have the same interests, but they do show similarities in dating. I know it is past Valentine’s Day, but it’s never too late to give someone new a chance on a hot date (or just a casual date). If we really don’t want to be a part of the hook-up culture, then it is our job to get ourselves out of it, because without any fuel, there can’t be a fire!

*Name has been changed

 

Photo Sources:

http://media.theweek.com/img/dir_0094/47153_article_full/things-are-getting-steamy.jpg?199

http://diamonddiploma.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/4835767534_couple_in_bed_w_girl_regretful_xlarge.jpeg

 

Alana is currently a junior at Boston College studying Communications and marketing. She is the Publicity director and events coordinator for Her Campus BC as well as being a part of the editorial team. 
Kelsey Damassa is in her senior year at Boston College, majoring in Communications and English. She is a native of Connecticut and frequents New York City like it is her job. On campus, she is the Campus Correspondent for the Boston College branch of Her Campus. She also teaches group fitness classes at the campus gym (both Spinning and Pump It Up!) and is an avid runner. She has run five half-marathons as well as the Boston Marathon. In her free time, Kelsey loves to bake (cupcakes anyone?), watch Disney movies, exercise, read any kind of novel with a Starbucks latte in hand, and watch endless episodes of "Friends" or "30 Rock."