Valentine’s Day is just a few days away and I can smell the chocolates, roses, and cheesy Facebook statuses from here already. Or maybe that’s just because I have yet to remove the crumbs of chocolate covered pretzels I ate an hour ago from my cleavage? Well, either way, crumbs in my cleave or not, cupid is coming to town and he’s bringing all the hype that usually accompanies it. So whether you love or loathe this holiday, I think it’s safe to say we can all agree we know one of two types of people very well around this time of year.
The first? The love birds.
We all know this couple. The girl is all la-di-da and flowers and pink fluffy clouds of happiness and “Aw Endless Love is coming out on Vday?! Don’t you just love people falling in love? Love is so great, like, I just love love!” Insert ‘love’ about thirty more times in her dialogue and you get the picture. Meanwhile her boyfriend is piecing together every adorable moment they’ve ever shared together in a handwritten, script typefaced scrapbook with confetti hearts and pictures of all their ‘firsts’. You know what I mean…first date, first kiss, first time meeting the parents, first time saying ‘I love you’, etc. And while the glue dries on the pages of the scrapbook, he’s making romantic reservations at the restaurant they went to on their first date and he’s even requesting the same waiter be present. Of course, once the meal ends and the chocolate covered strawberries are delivered on a silver platter, he’ll present to her the small box which lies whatever ornament is special enough to grace the presence of his beloved girlfriend’s neck. Forget the fact they are in college and that necklace probably costs more than that textbook he needed for that math class he’s failing. This couple will then spend the rest of the night wrapped in each other’s arms. Sharing forehead kisses and reminiscing on all their favorite memories of one another.
This is the couple that worships this holiday enough to petition that classes be cancelled in honor of their relationship. They buy into the Hallmark sensation of the perfect card and the perfect bouquet of flowers. They are the rare bread many of us find ourselves avoiding on this day.
Which leads me to the next category on the list. The “#ForeverSingle,” “Valentine’s Day sucks,” “I’m only in it for the chocolate,” “Who wants to watch a horror movie with me?” “Ew” category.
This is the person who addresses Valentine’s Day as ‘Single’s Awareness Day’. Because quite frankly, that’s all this whole month leading up to the 14th has been for them. A constant reminder that they are single and their best bet for a Valentine is probably their dog.
This is the person who walks around with a certain, how you say, “Bah humbug”, in their stride. They will see cutesy, romantic gestures all day and will pretend they either didn’t notice or didn’t care. But deep down they did notice and they did care. A quiet part of them, even if they deny this, wishes they were receiving the words “Be Mine” stamped on small heart candies from someone uber special.
Sure, it’s just one day, and it’s no different than any other day of the week – but there’s just something about an entire day devoted to love only coming around once a year that can really get under a single person’s skin. Especially if they’ve always been single on this holiday and have yet to relish in the experience of being in a relationship.
Sure, you can play it off like I will and joke around that chocolate is your Valentine. You can avoid the sob scene at the tragically romantic movie theater and settle for a comedy or horror movie instead. You can call your mom and thank her for the pink heart-spotted panties she sent you (even though it just further reinforced how you have no one to wear them for) and you can check in on how your cat is doing.
It’s safe to say anyone who follows this route should prepare by buying copious amounts of Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food ice cream. For those of you who fall under the first category and are in love, I wish you a wonderful day with your significant other. It truly is a beautiful holiday. As for the rest of you? Well, I can only hope Cupid’s arrow soon points in your direction. You never know who’s waiting to fall in love with you, Valentine’s Day or not!