Welcome to the New Year, ladies. It’s 2014 and time for you to read up on common discrepancies I have found. Sixteen things may seem a trivial number of faults that I find but I am sure the things men need to understand about women beat this number of things by tenfold. Raw honesty is how I approach it and revealing truth is what I hope to achieve.
- Men ARE NOT as cold and calculating with their feelings as you may think
I feel like I am breaking male stereotypes, but we do feel and many times we hide it. Let us be vulnerable sometimes.
- Men ARE as cold and calculating with their words as you may think
A lot of times, our words are not a veil that hides an emotional message. Our words sit at face value and they mean exactly how they are. There is no passive aggressive motive in these times. Understand that and don’t assume.
- Learn how to react to #2
Do not tell them “what they mean” because you might be incredibly wrong. Seek to understand before playing the victim.
- Men are showered with deceptive images in our culture
Women are objectified heavily in our beauty culture, but men are given many false definitions of masculinity and true beauty for women. Whether you like it or not, these constant billboard messages affects the way we look at the women in our life (in a bad way).
- We are not Prince Charming
Sorry ladies, save it for Disney but Prince Charming doesn’t exist and if he does, I bet he still has baggage (or a carpet that flies).
- Maybe what you think is fun is not necessarily his idea of fun
Sure, you can find mutual fun things to do, but most of the time what you love to do is more than likely not what he likes to do. That being said, he is a good guy if he does your fun things, but don’t push it.
- Sometimes love is backseated for respect
If you cannot respect our abilities to accomplish certain things (accomplishing a task, getting work done, etc.) or have confidence in our reliability, we don’t feel loved because love and respect are many times mutually exclusive.
- Understand our “man” desires
This is difficult but understand that we ARE guys with certain desires (not NEEDS as many will falsely say) and they are not necessarily good, but they are just there. Don’t necessarily condone these cravings nor patronize us because our physiology is different. And, by no means, use it for manipulation.
- Use words of encouragement
We liked being praised for the things we do well not as building blocks for pride and cockiness, but assurance of our abilities.
- We like someone around our arm, but not around our neck
We like you and if we continue to date you, then that should be evidence enough of our affection. That being said we enjoy our space and “bro time.” Neediness never fails to bother us. Give us space and we will come back. Trust me.
- We try to give gifts to show our appreciation but sometimes we strike out and give up
Many times, I have had friends attempt to show their affection through gifts or special nights, but high standards and expectations drive us to doubt our abilities to impress you, so we give up. It sounds weird, but we try to outdo everybody (even ourselves) and sometimes we feel our effort is in vain.
- Change your whole idea of what a “date” is
A date is not a marriage proposal, nor is it a hangout. It is a date, an opportunity to get to know you more as a person. Do not freak out when a guy asks you to dinner, but merely take it as it is.
- Give advice, not orders
Unlike girls, guys like to be given advice (sometimes) when expressing a problem, but tell us what to do and you have crossed our confidence in our capabilities.
- Be careful of what you wear
I understand that women do not dress FOR men, but if you expect to be treated with respect and dignity, take that into account when you pick out revealing outfits.
- There are bad apples, but there are still good apples
When girls start to make blanket statements about how men (or “pigs” as they refer to them) are, I cannot help but feel incredibly generalized. More than likely, you are wrong about men as a whole. Sure, men all have common attributes, but differentiation amongst us fellows lends itself to individuality. Please don’t throw every male under the bus because a handful of men slighted you.
generalized. More than likely, you are wrong about men as a whole. Sure, men all have common attributes, but differentiation amongst us fellows lends itself to individuality. Please don’t throw every male under the bus because a handful of men slighted you.
16. Comparison is our biggest flaw
We compare ourselves to other men all the time, and not in a physical sense. We compare our skills to other guys (even our own friends) and for us to feel belittled means an insult to our manhood. Why do you think guys fight?
Sincerely,
Your RLCG,
Agree? Disagree? Email me at michaelsbragg@gmail.com or send me a question at here. Be sure to follow me on Twitter for my on the go advice!