Have you or anyone in your family ever valet parked? Do you wonder what really goes on? If you have, you’re in luck because I’m about to give you a few insights from my experiences on the job.
We Judge Your Car
You probably figured that one out already, though it’s not as simple as “ooo BMW” or “ugh mom van.” While it’s true that we do like nice cars, mainly we just like clean ones. No one wants to sit in a dirty, smelly, or disorganized car. And we especially don’t want to look behind us as we’re backing up and notice two used cat litter boxes on the back seat. Yeah, that happened to me – I was horrified and confused.
We Call Dibs
Obviously we’re going to fight with each other over the nice cars, like the Maserati that visited my workplace this past summer, but what you may not realize is that we each have our own special favorites. Some of us are crazy about Range Rovers, others love Audis, and I personally have a soft spot for Fiats (they’re too cute). Sorry though, no one is dibs-ing your Prius.
We Take Photos Of and In Your (Nice) Cars
If you or anyone you know has a super nice car and has valet parked, there may be an employee with a photo of the car in his or her phone. Try not to get offended or creeped out. We don’t mean any harm by it. It’s just a way for us to pass time and show off to our friends. Depending on the type of venue, it might be the nicest car we’ve seen all summer. I’m not saying I have photos of me in a Maserati, but…
We Know How to Start Your Car
I can’t begin to count the amount of times a customer has handed me his or her keys and slowly explained how their push-to-start car works. I know. It’s my job. If your car starts in a way I’ve never seen before I will pay you. I’ve seen everything, even a completely electric Tesla. But please do tell us if there’s anything that could impact our ability to get into and move your car, such as a busted driver side lock.
We Don’t Steal
Okay, so I can’t actually say that none of us steal, but most of us wouldn’t risk our job and its perks for your phone charger or Brad Paisley album. If there’s an item you think is missing from your car, please check first. It’s much better to check under your back seat or the pocket of your suitcase before yelling at us. I’ve seen customers get upset only to call us back hours later to apologize after finding their (insert item here) in their bag or even back at their house.
We Hate Your Bike Racks
Where I worked it, I knew it was a bad morning if I watched car after car with bike racks pull into the lot. Not only do I have to try and find one of my coworkers to spot me as I back in, but if no one’s available I have to get out and check my spacing multiple times just to be sure. Such a pain.
You’d Probably Be Shocked at Our Spacing
We park tight. Sorry, but it’s the only way we can handle the amount of customers. A lot of people misjudge the amount of space a car needs, but if you maneuver the wheel correctly you can get a car in or out with only inches of space on all sides. Does it take patience, concentration, and skill? Yes, but it is completely doable, especially in smaller cars – which is another reason I love Fiats.
We Have a System
A lot of people seem to think we just make it up as we go along, but at least where I worked we had a very definite parking strategy based on the dates people would return. We also had a detailed car log as well as car tags and a special board for all the keys. So no, your car can’t get lost on our lot and no, we won’t lose your keys.
We Need to Know When You’re Coming Back
This probably isn’t a big deal at restaurants, but I worked for a place with overnight parking. In order to manage, we arrange the cars so that the ones coming back the earliest are up front and the latest ones in the back. If there’s even a slight chance you’ll be back earlier, please tell us. It is so much easier than us having to play Unblock Me with the cars because you wouldn’t tell us when you were coming back.
We Need Your Keys
Do not be that person who doesn’t hand over their keys and then proceeds to lock all the doors. I repeat… do not be that person.
If You’re Paranoid About Your Car – Don’t Use Valet Parking!
While it’s not usually the case, accidents do happen. If your car is brand new, about to be traded in, or has any custom work done, do not put us through dozens of questions, demand special treatment, or even bully us. If you politely explain your situation we can sometimes make special arrangements, but being rude or hostile only makes us dislike you. I’ve told customers to not park with us before. It’s as simple as that.
While these insights may not apply in all types of valet-situations or differ in some, I know them to be true from my own experiences. So if you’re going to valet park, keep these things in mind. Also, we really appreciate being tipped!