1. The sock bun- I really can’t blame the Y chromosome for the confusion about this one. Let’s just take a step back from the situation for a minute and realize that we are rolling a cut-up tube sock into our hair. But hey, having a donut-shaped bun really does look fabulous sometimes. Just don’t expect your boyfriend or younger brother to comprehend this one.
2. The true meaning behind the slogan “Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s Maybelline.”– Do they really think our eyelashes are that long and voluptuous? Well thanks to subtle “no makeup-makeup” techniques and products, the (male) world may never know. Just make sure to wear waterproof if you are planning on going anywhere near water because it’s a dead giveaway when black smears down your face and suddenly your eyelashes appear three times shorter and five shades lighter.
3. Just hopping in the shower takes about six times as long for us as it does for them- Boys don’t have to wash and deep condition layers of locks. Not to mention the stressful fight with the round brush and the blow dryer, which turns into a 30-minute arm workout.
4. Why I would spend $35 to get someone to wash my hair for me and blow dry it so that it looks just messy enough to be considered tousled but smooth enough to not be considered messy (see #3).
5. What the words “blow-out” and “tousled” mean in relation to hair styling. (Get your mind out of the gutter boys, they aren’t dirty words…)
6. The (completely warranted and justified) temper tantrum that is bound to occur when your manicure chips two hours after leaving the nail salon.
7. Why we need to take a picture of our manicure and post it on Instagram, and how difficult it is to use the right angle in snapping said photo so that our fingers don’t look like sausages on social media. (#manicuremonday)
8. The artistic talent, concentration, and hand control required for one to create symmetrical winged liner on the first try (And why it’s best to just skip the liquid liner if you don’t have q-tips and makeup remover handy).
9. Why we would ever even THINK to put that “weapon” known as an eyeleash curler anywhere near our faces.