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By Isaiah M. Mcclaini
As the day draws near, the dark lonely night begins to fade away. All that is left is your thoughts and you realize you are hanging on the edge trying to understand what your purpose in life is.
The feeling of being left alone or separated from what you thought was love and something that made you feel good at times, you soon realize the ugly truth. That it wasn’t love. Instead, it was lust and deceit which had the appearance of love. You realize that you were used and abuse for someone else’s personal gain.
The feeling of being misled, and treated as an object instead of a person, may make you feel worthless, hurt and disgusted. To now know and understand that feeling of being treated as an object is truly an eye opening and awful experience. Being able to truly understand the truth of reality, blinded by someone close to you, is very disheartening.
Coming into a new chapter in life and trying to embrace the world with all its imperfections can lead you down the path of your own destruction; DRUGS, ALCOHOL, SEX, MENTAL TOUREMENT, LONELYNESS, STRESS, and DEPRESSION.
You later realize that you couldn’t turn back from where you came from because the door has already closed behind you. Your world begins to spiral around in so many circles causing you to end up worst off than where you started from. The world becomes very cold, causing you to alter your life in very dramatic ways.
You might start to begin to do things that you never thought you would have ever done to survive. You find yourself living in places that you had no idea you would ever live. You reply on the government for assistance, but find out there isn’t hope.
As life continues to unfold your eyes begin to open up wide to the dark world that is reality. People you trusted or you thought you trust are no longer around for you. The humility of not being able to provide for yourself and the harsh reality of the struggle is something you can’t bear.
Damage was never a part of your vocabulary until the person, you thought was there for you closed the doors behind you. This caused you to live your life on the edge which is a very dangerous foundation.
Everywhere you decided to go there was no peace, no hope or no bright light at the end of the tunnel for you to see. You realize you could not gravitate towards anything good and positive while living on the edge. You realize that life is by design and if you don’t conform to it properly the design model is broken and shattered.
Happiness becomes a memory and a deep sorrowing cry for help that the world couldn’t give you unless you were someone important. You hold onto your pride and think that everything would be alright, but it continues to get worst. The pain hurts like hell knowing that prior days were really false and the future is uncertain.
The life on the edge as you know it scares you and makes you think, “Was I blind all this time?” and “How did this happen to me?” You start to think about past prestige of our time and what the society says the guideline are and you fall into a deep depression.
When you start think about what your purpose in this life is, and how it can be brought into fruition, you need a small push and a lot of reassurance that you can change from living on the edge to living with no regrets. You start to take small steps in trusting others and listening to their advice/wisdom and learn how to apply it to your everyday life.
Although the loud voices in your head that continue to scream at you, because of your past you fight hard to ignore and push pass them. You know that with the correct guidance, faith and strong belief in yourself that you can achieve anything.
The life on the edge is not what you bargained for, but as the saying goes, “you made your bed you must lie in it,” and you continue to push through. The voices in your head tend to get pushy and sarcastic and you often feel overwhelmed because the life on the edge is real. You strive to look for a better place to be in and tell yourself don’t give up; don’t look back, as the best is yet to come.
I strongly believe that everyone faces their own demons, some privately, other publicly, but for those facing them without the world knowing it can be a horrible experience. You have to be extremely careful of the things you do, the people you surround yourself and the decisions you make on a daily basis. Otherwise you could make a terrible mistake that you will regret and it could alter your life in a way that you could never imagine.
The thought of feeling like the entire worlds knows the mistakes you made and everyone is judging you are hard. Feeling like everyone is making a mockery out of your situation, and putting their own conclusion of your story in place, is also hard.
Having to face people and perhaps answer them or yourself those hard questions and the answers you thought would be kept deep dark secrets, is scary. The thought of people knowing your failures, makes you feel ashamed of who you are as a human being. But you realize that no one can judge you unless they have walked in your shoes.
You soon realize that embracing laughter is the only way to proclaim, as an act of denial on the things that hurt you and placed you in this situation. You try not to conceive the truth on your situation, but living on the edge makes you face it head on.
How can you embrace the foundation of honesty and love if the all you had is lies from the ones you thought loved? For every broken heart, comes a solid key to mend your broken heart, you soon realize your good days will out weight your bad days.
Knowledge is power, and it will allow you to know what you need to success in this life. Wisdom brings about understanding the truth on how to maintain your future which later becomes your presence. Persevering will lead you down the path of happiness, not regretting your mistakes, but understanding that for every action becomes a reaction. The evaluation of a purpose will finally unfold that will cause you to understand your meaning of being alive in this world. The gift of life comes from above; the hope for tomorrow will elevate you to continue your quest on your journey.
There will be no room for blaming the world for your mistakes anymore; you can continue to walk in your evaluation of your purpose with no regrets. The purpose of being in the now to know by embracing your future, the place of peace, the meaning of your true existence, the understanding of whom and what you are and can become is incredible. As life begins to broaden your horizons, you will know your purpose in this generation by inspiring people, encouraging someone along the way to achieve their goals in life.
Living your life to your fullest expectations, by choosing to be productive in society is the key to your future. No more fear, just determination to succeed in a life by taking this adventure by storm. This is the new chapter of The Evolution of a Purpose by understanding who you are in this world with no regrets.Â
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