Source:SkinnyMom
Relationships are hard work in college. Adding distance into the equation can create a recipe for disaster. We’ve all seen the perfect power couple that everyone swore to be destined for each other completely fall apart after one of them moved into the city for their dream job. As someone who is currently navigating the treacherous waters of long distance, I thought I would share some helpful hints to get you through.
#1 Focus on the positive
It is so easy when you’re long distance to focus on all of the negativity that is brought out in each of you. This is especially poignant in LDRs (Long Distance Relationships) because you aren’t able to physically touch or see the person to help alleviate the situation. The other day I was trying to watch The Great Gatsby on the Xbox that my boyfriend left behind for me to use and I had to call him so that he could explain what the heck I was supposed to do to hook it up. As he calmly walked me through the steps of which color cordy thingy went into which slot in the TV, I was reminded that one of my favorite qualities of my boyfriend is the fact that he is always there when I need him, regardless of how trivial the matter is. So instead of focusing on the fact that it took him 3 hours to answer your last text message, try focusing on all of the positive qualities that made you fall in love with him in the first place.
#2 Make each other laugh
This is a screenshot of a conversation that my boyfriend and I had the other day about a dream I had involving seeing him with tattoos. When you are having conversations with each other instead of constantly saying “Wah boo hoo babe I miss you so much”, try reliving funny memories and laughing with each other. It will put a positive spin on your day and will make this long distance thing seem much more manageable if you are both smiling most of the time.
A picture of us at the Penn State vs. Michigan game he took me to for my birthday that I like to look at when I’m feeling blue.
#3 Set time aside for each other
I know that every night before I go to bed, my boyfriend and I will talk to each other. We also have a rule that we must Facetime at least once a week. Depending on your schedule you may want to talk more or less than that, but it’s important that you have pieces of your days that belong only to each other.
#4 Don’t obsess over social media
I have caught myself more times than I care to admit creeping on his Facebook page to see if he has any new friends or obsessing over his tweets to see who is retweeting him. Mostly this comes down to trust. You have to trust each other more than ever in a LDR, and driving yourself nuts trying to see what pictures he was tagged in and whom he was with shows that you are insecure about your relationship. This one naturally leads us to #5, which is:
#5 Communicate!
Ask your partner what he did this weekend as opposed to trying to sleuth it out yourself via Twitter. If he is doing something that upsets you instead of passive aggressively ignoring him until he weasels it out of you, just tell him! It will save the both of you a lot of heartache and arguments if you are open and honest about your expectations and what is upsetting you.
The medal I received for running my first half marathon.
#6 Focus on yourself
I don’t know if you noticed this when you and your partner were in the same zip code, but being in a relationship takes up a solid chunk of your time. The beauty of a long distance relationship is that time you once would spend vegging on the couch binge watching Breaking Bad with your man can now be spent focusing on advancing your life goals. With the free time my LDR has afforded me, I was able to run my first half marathon in October, and my boyfriend has really been able to throw himself heart and soul into the company that he is working for.
Long distance relationships are hard work, but they make you truly appreciate the times that you do get to spend with your partner. It is also the easiest and quickest way to determine if your relationship is built on a strong enough foundation that makes for a long-term commitment. I can tell you right now that if I thought I could see myself with anyone else, I would have run for the hills long ago. Unfortunately, he stole my heart and took it to Massachusetts with him, so it looks like I’m in this for the long haul.