This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Kenyon chapter.
[Note from the Editors: This article is part of the new HCK installment called “To My Younger Self” that hopes to provide the HCK reader community with some pieces of advice from the older generations by having each staff member conduct interviews with the people they find to be most inspiring. The series will focus on the words of wisdom of influential individuals that we, as Kenyon students, interact with and draw inspiration from each day, from our parents and older siblings to professors and Kenyon alums. The titles will attempt to capture the main theme of that particular person’s experience with the interviews. We hope that you learn as much from their advice as we have in interviewing them!]
When you’re in your early twenties, about to graduate college, and searching for your first job, everyone wants to give you advice. Older, wiser, souls love to advise early twenty-somethings about anything, whether it’s about where to live, who (and how) to date, what to wear, or how to decorate your impossibly tiny living room-bedroom-kitchen hybrid. This week, we decided to look further into the idea of giving advice by asking two generations about the advice they received from their wise elders in college and what they wish they had heard instead. I turned to my parents and former camp counselor Garland M. to see what they had to say.
Question 1: What’s something you wish your parents (or anyone) had told you when you were going through college?
Mom: That there is a big world out there and not to lock myself into one mindset. I was studying to be a pharmacist, but what I didn’t realize at the time was that I wasn’t confined to one career path only. I initially worked as a retail pharmacist because that’s was where I made the most money, but I hated it. Years later I found my niche in research and development and realized that there are many ways to spin your degree and use what you have to find what you love. Also—it’s not always about the money.
Dad: I wish I’d gotten more encouragement to be aggressive and to take chances my career path earlier on.
Garland: I wish someone had told me that it’s okay to do things at your own pace, to take time off to readjust and think about what direction you want to take. College is really such a privilege, and one that you should embrace when you’re ready. We are so lucky that we can go to college, take classes and learn, and honestly that’s something that I miss a lot post grad. When I was in college, though, there were times I just wanted to be traveling and exploring and my head wasn’t fully in the game. This stressed me out because I knew that I wanted to do well and take advantage of my education, but with my feelings of restlessness I knew I wasn’t going to be the student I wanted to be. Listen to your heart, not your parents’ heart. You are the only one who has to live with your choices.
Question 2: What was the best advice you received in your twenties?
Mom: An old boss and mentor advised me to make as many connections as I could and to nurture those connections. Following this advice, I found that at almost every point in my life where I needed help, advice, a job, to raise funds, or a shoulder to cry on, I had connections that I could turn to. Remember, though, forging connections is a two-way street. If you expect people to be there for you when you need to call on them for help, be sure that you’re available and willing to do the same for them.
Dad: Never say no to new assignments: take the task that no one else wants, push yourself to try new things and approach tasks in different ways. Don’t limit yourself.
Garland: Looking back on the first half of my twenties, I’d say the best advice I’ve heard was that the key to life is to do what makes you happy first—whether in your love life, career choice, extracurricular involvement, or any other major decision you make. I believe that the world can only become a better place when people are constantly growing, challenging themselves, and moving forward towards happiness. When the world is filled with people who are unhappy in their daily lives or who are doing what they think they “should” be doing, it creates a negative energy to be around. This isn’t good for you, it’s not good for your loved ones, and it’s not good for your job. This is all easier said than done, but I think that keeping the end goal of overall happiness in mind when making any major choices is very helpful.
3. What’s the worst advice you received in your twenties?
Mom: If you have a solid plan A, you don’t need a solid plan B. That’s crap. Always have a plan B.
Garland: Any sentence that starts with “you should” or “you have to” has been the worst advice I’ve ever gotten. I’m grateful for others’ advice (and am guilty for starting a few of my own sentences this way in the past when trying to give my friends and family members advice) but ultimately I think that considering things solely in terms of “shoulds” and “musts” is unproductive. Let your family and friends give their opinions, but take them with a grain of salt. My general theme on life has evolved, in my twenties, to the simple idea of focusing on my ideas when it comes to major life decisions. I’ve tried to stop worrying about making everyone else happy, and worrying about other people’s judgments and opinions. Recognize that you know yourself, your goals, and your passions best.
So, what can we take away from all of this? Throughout your life, there will constantly be people who think they know what’s best for you: listen to them, appreciate them, but ultimately take their advice as a suggestion, not a decree. You know yourself and your limits best, but don’t be afraid to take risks, challenge yourself, and do what keeps you moving forward. Also—be there for the people who are there for you, and remember that connections are a two-way street, dear readers.