Our twenties are supposed to be about living the dream. Whether that means partying, having little to no responsibilities or discovering yourself. When I was home with my older sister, she suggested that we watch Ted Talks. But little did I know the effect it would have on me. The Ted Talk was by a clinical psychologist, Dr. Meg Jay who has also written a book, “The Defining Decade Why Your Twenties Matter – and How To Make the Most of Them Now.” Dr. Meg Jay specializes in adult development and particularly in twenty-somethings. The Ted Talk then inspired me to pick up the book, nervous to realize all of the things that I should be thinking about or doing in order to enhance my future. As much as I wanted to stay in a state of oblivion, I knew it would be for the best for me to read the book.
“The Defining Decade” is composed of four sections; work, love, the brain and the body. Throughout the chapters, Dr. Jay shares stories from more than ten years of work with hundreds of clients and students. She picked informative and inspirational stories to share from twenty-somethings themselves.
The topic of why our twenty’s are so important is of great interest to me. Especially when people dismiss it saying they’ve got a lot of time before they have to think about such serious topics, like jobs and serious relationships. It is said that our “thirty-is-the-new-twenty” culture tells us that the twenty-something years don’t matter. Soon enough we will wake up and at 30 years old have nothing to show for our 20’s because of our culture’s view.Â
The truth is, thirty is not the new twenty and our 20’s are so important they are referred to as the defining decade. Why wait and put off thinking about what you’re going to do after university and instead, have that conversation with a student advisor about job opportunities. Take the next step to get real with yourself that you won’t be in school forever. Not to say that you shouldn’t enjoy it, but becoming more aware of life’s realities, the more you can prepare yourself and set yourself up for success. Look into internship opportunities or any certifications that can enhance your skill set for the field of work you’re interested in. Taking these steps will help lower the shock of the real world after graduation, and allow you to get ahead of the game. Thinking about the future and the steps that you’re planning on taking can only benefit you and prepare you for the workforce.Â
It seems as though this “thirty-is-the-new-twenty” mindset also applies to love and relationships. We’ve all either been there, know someone who has been there, or have a friend who is in a relationship right now that’s saying, “I’m just killing time,” “it’s good for now,” and telling themselves that they’re happy enough… Wrong! Today is a new day, have the courage to live a life that you love. Stop wasting your and another person’s precious time and allow yourself to come to terms with that. You don’t want to wake up at thirty and wish you would have broken it off in your twenties. Give yourself the chance to create a full and happy life for yourself. Take time for yourself, invest time and effort into your relationship with yourself. You like jogging? Go for a jog! You like going for bike rides or doing yoga? Do those things for you and live a life that you’re proud of. How can you expect yourself to give 100% in a relationship if you’re not giving the relationships you have with yourself all that you have. The time is now to be who you want to be and do the things you want to do. Have the courage to do that for yourself, you’ll be so glad you did.Â
Our 20’s are when we can take time to grow and learn what we like and dislike and build a foundation for ourselves. Live a life of yes where you allow yourself to be in uncomfortable situations where you don’t know anyone and have the chance to meet new people. You never know the opportunities knowing those people, those weak ties will present in the future. Say yes to a new experience or adventure, it could be the best thing to happen to you.
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