6 Signs You’re Too Old To Go Trick-or-Treating

Halloween is a magical time of year. It marks the beginning of the holiday season and is often the one night we get to be whomever we want. This year will be filled with plenty of twerking Miley Cyrus bears, Breaking Bad characters galore, and, of course, groups of girls dressed in basically nothing. But aside from your costume, what will you do? Party? Have a spook-tacular movie marathon? Or are you that one brave soul who still wants to walk the streets in search of some sugar to satisfy your deprived sweet tooth? Guess what? Silly collegiette! Trick-or-treating is for kids! And you’re not a kid anymore. 

You might be a little too old for trick-or-treating if…

1. There’s a good chance you’ll be at Penny Wine tonight. 
What can be better than Thursday Penny Wine night at Beef ‘O’ Brady’s on Halloween? There’s no cover, and it only costs a penny to drink as much wine as you can.

2. You would rather get a Relish burger instead of a candy bar.
Why do we all love Relish so much? The candy is great, but can you get a burger with an egg, tons of bacon, and cheese piled on top with a side of greasy fries from trick-or-treating? No. Relish is the bomb-dot-com.

3. You have cleavage, and you’re showing it off. 
Ladies, we get it… you want to show off the twins. But if you’re rocking those short costumes and bearing a lot of skin, you should probably be at the bar instead. Look on the bright side: At least the moms in your neighborhood won’t have to cover the eyes of their children.

4. You pre-gamed before catching the Later Gator by playing beer pong and flip cup. 
Kids don’t pregame for events; only 20-somethings embark on that adventure.

5. You’re using Tinder to locate a Halloween hook-up. 
Thanks to the increasingly popular dating app Tinder has made it easier than ever to find a campus cutie (or multiple cuties) in your neighborhood. After Halloween Jell-O shots, you may need a cuddle buddy, so start searching!

6. You’re wearing numerous wristbands from Midtown. 
Collecting wristbands is almost as fun as collecting candy, but it’s so much easier! Unfortunately you cannot eat them, but they do grant you access into some really cool bars.

Nevertheless, have fun and stay safe tonight, collegiettes.
Happy Halloween!

• candy
• costumes
• halloween
• partying
• trick or treating