EPISODEÂ 3: Survival of the Fittest
Now I’ve heard down the line that, as a student, certain rules, games, and competitions are vital to keep up flat mate morale. I might have taken such advice a little far. We are currently in the thick of a sound battle with the floors below. The noise vibrating through our feet is the grave combination of house, club classics, the ground floor have gone for Disney and our musical neighbours have whacked out the trumpet, bassoon and believe it or not there is such an instrument as the euphonium. Roost of the block up top, we favoured general stamping, clanging, chanting, and, unsurprisingly, fell out of favour with Security.
As for rules…? We have both a Chunder Chart and Lad/Twat Points cemented to the kitchen wall. The judging of which has proven rather controversial. As a result I have unintentionally inspired my flat mates to prank, assault, and steal from each other. To spare their dignity, the guilty shall go nameless.  Room No.1 has had her picture banded around the Uni in various environments ‘passed out’, though she merely be a fan of ‘tactical napping’. No.2 has become a novelty about the block as he leaves evidence of life, yet no one has actually seen him.  No.3 is our general source for banter as she often finds herself in compromising positions – be it in the bedroom of a 3rd year with lines too cheesy for Wallace and Gromit or the sticky note fool – who left but one tidy complaint and hasn’t shaken it off since. No.4 played victim to Salad Cream lock down, whereby the white stuff lined his door handle and clogged the key hole; my invention might I add! No.5… well she just can’t stop discussing lube brands. And No.6? Frape fanatic.
And finally, games. The standard nature of this activity demands heavy alcohol consumption. Cards, board games, music, TV – even cooking has shots and chug jugs at the ready.  We’ve somehow developed a sport called ‘Jumping’, whereby flat members jump out from behind doors, walls, wardrobes  – you name it; drinking follows any screaming as punishment.
In relation to previous entries, I’m afraid even Netflix and I are on a break – let alone any real Romance! Laceration of the liver in exciting, new, and creative ways has drawn all focus during Freshers. But hey – scored a total of 4 lad points just the other night…. maybe no Romeos, but as I’ve described, competition in Flat 26 has hit a new low.
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(Photo credits to tumblr.com, afranko.com)