Dear Male Delivery,
Are long distance relationships worth it?
Many have them and nobody wants them (at least that “long distance” part).
You and your beau have more than likely been dating through high school and you have now entered into the purgatory of separation. It is understandably difficult to survive the 100 or so odd miles of distance even though you told yourself you would try. However, it may seem miserable and pointless.
On one hand, you have your boyfriend and the assurance and trust (I hope so) in knowing that you are in a “stable” relationship, and on the other you have this huge and daunting gap of physical separation. Is it worth it?
Well, have no fear because—of course I have an opinion on it.
My answer of whether to commit or not obviously falls in a situational category:
A relatively new relationship
If it is the second semester of your senior year of high school, and that Facebook relationship status has just turned from blank to “In a relationship with…,” then seriously consider the possibility of discontinuing the relationship before you leave for your college days. The timing is off and this move awfully weird to begin and develop a blossoming relationship with that big elephant in the room (i.e. the detachment). Founding those pillars of love and attachment will be pretty difficult when you are only staring at him through a computer screen. Communication will be seriously crippled because whether we believe it or not, our actual, physical body language demonstrates way more messages than our verbal language. With no opportunity to be near to see this, how can you expect to grow together? It is a serious test, so are you ready to take it in a fairly young puppy love?
A rocky relationship
Sometimes we have to realize that we may be that couple that everybody hates. I am speaking of course of the frequent breakers, those who have about 17 breakups under their résumé. I think my “Rule of Three’s” highly applies to long distance relationships. The “Rule of Three’s” says that after three breakups, if one more occurs, please (for the sake of everyone else) stay broken up. This goes especially for long distance relationships. The distance WILL make you argue more. This fact sucks but it is true. Therefore, just think about breaking up before you go to college. If things aren’t going to well when you are physically together, how do you expect them to go when you are apart?
The high school sweethearts
There you two are. You are the couple that has been together since you were born and everyone cannot imagine you separate from your mate. You two have now entered the phase of your life where, for the first time since the dawn of man, you will not always be in the same place at the same time. Yes, it is very hard. You can’t hold hands. You can’t do the things that you love to do together. You can’t even kiss! However, is it worth it? I say that if you have spent so long growing together, this might be just another growing pain to adapt to. Fight through it and keep going strong, but always understand that things will NOT be the same.
Obviously, I believe there are a lot of little things that I didn’t address like jealousy, temptation and all that other fun stuff, but my encouragement is to work through that with your partner.
As for those thinking about entering a long distance relationship, my question to you is WHY??!?!
There are compatible people around you, so why outsource your love? Trust me, it is such a huge undertaking that is useless to take on willingly. Stick to the awesome guys here at UGA. If you don’t believe they exist, talk to me and I will prove you wrong.
Sincerely,
Your Real Live College Guy
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