First times…. Are you the only virgin left in your friend group?
Do we optimize the perfect scene or do we rush to get it over with? Are we ruining the tradition of making the first time ‘special’ or are we just preparing ourselves for a better second time?
Upholding anything up to certain standards or ideals allows for disappointment. With something like sex it is no wonder that when you finally trade your V-card to that special someone it more likely is not what you intended it to be.
I have found that the majority of women make sex out to be something too serious. Worrying about all the details including who, what, when, where, and maybe even why. Why now, why with this person. These details add too much pressure to the ‘event’. Don’t get me wrong these details can be important but they shouldn’t stress you out so much that they take away from your first experience.
I would hate to burst anyone’s bubble but there is no such thing as the perfect scene. Even if it turns out well perhaps the planning stressed you out or it was awkward.
A friend of mine spent her freshman year testing her sexuality, experiencing sex in a casual way. She claims that she was not rushing it but she did want to get it over with. Perhaps you have had a similar debate with yourself thinking it would be easier if you just got it over with and the pressure of being the only virgin left in your friend group would be taken care of.
I pose the question for you to decide; what is more important to you, being more comfortable after having sex for the first time or waiting for that special moment with that special someone?
There is no right or wrong answer! Whatever feels right to you and how you want it to happen is all that matters. It might be easier said than done but, do not let anyone else’s opinion affect your decision to wait or not to wait.
My advice;
Let it happen naturally! The fuss over the perfect night, the right music, whether or not to lay flowers on the bed, NO! all that stuff is great and truly romantic but save it for another night after you have already have done it for the first time. First times can be awkward or uncomfortable, adding all those extra things are just more pressures that you and your partner don’t need.