A Semester Without Boys: Part I

When a friend of mine was hurt by yet another boy, she decided she would try a semester without them.  

 

What this meant exactly was that she would go out and have fun with friends! But she would not get romantically involved with any boys for the entire semester.  She is 4 weeks into her semester and I got to hear about her experiences of it so far.  

“Last year was a pretty tough year for me,” she said.  “I went from having a boyfriend all 4 years of high school to being single and I forgot what it was like to be on my own.”  She came to Denison thinking that she would have no problem meeting someone whom she really liked and they would begin dating.  Being in a relationship was all she had known for the past four years and it was something that came easily to her.  

Her “prince charming” came to her in no time when she met the boy who lived next door.  Unfortunately, things with him came crashing down when she realized that she was one of the many girls whom he was interested in.  She was done with him. After that came a sea with many fish but none that wanted to settle down.  And at the end of June, after her freshman year, my friend decided that she would put her boy problems on the shelf and focus on other things.  

Her goal of the semester without boys is “to have gained a little bit more of the self-respect that I lost last year.”  She also added, “I want to continue to build my friendships and meet new people so I never feel like I have a gap again.”  This goal has been getting accomplished so far in the sense that she says she hasn’t been afraid to run into a boy on campus and that she feels she has more confidence in herself.  She also added she feels more organized; she works out more, and spends more time with girlfriends. However, an entire semester without boys has its bad moments as well.  Contrary to working out more, she has also been eating more.  “I have spent many nights at the Bandersnatch,” she said.  She has also run into some uncomfortable situations where she feels the need to explain her semester without boys.  “Sometimes, I’ll be talking to a boy at a party and I’ll think that he is getting the wrong idea so I began to explain my no boy semester and I have gotten some strange reactions,” she says. “Or I’ll try to make a joke and say, talk to me next semester! But boys don’t always find that funny.”  

My friend’s experiences so far have been good, bad, and definitely memorable.  She is pleased with her decision for the semester and she says she is already feeling better about herself.  Although she admits she still gets lonely from time to time, she says, “I am lucky to have a strong group of friends and that’s all that I really need right now…and my dog.”