Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo

Best Friends for Never: The 3 Stages of a BFF Breakup

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UFL chapter.

 

A best friend forever describes the one girlfriend you can always count on for just about everything. She’s there for you to listen when you confess your deepest darkest secrets, call you out when you’re in the wrong, and be a shoulder to cry on when you’re feeling blue. But what happens when the friendship you thought would last forever is suddenly no more?

It’s hard to pinpoint exactly when everything starts going sour between you and your BFF, and unfortunately, sometimes there is no solution. Best friend breakups happen to all of us. We expect our best friend to make it to our wedding day, be there to see our first child born, and even grow old by our side, but what if it’s just not meant to be? Breaking up with a best friend is always hard to go through because you’ve lost the one person who knows the most about you.

Stage 1: Growing Apart 
Naturally, we want to make it work, but sometimes we have to take a breath and move on. When friends start going their own way, you begin to see a gap form in the relationship. Communication begins to vanish and multiple texts seem to be read with no reply. At this point, you’re probably wondering what you did to ruin it. Was it the comment you made about her hair? The fight you had about how much you hate her boyfriend? Maybe the time you told everyone she sucks her thumb when she sleeps? Any of these could be the answer, but a lot of the time it’s just life. We want to hope everything lasts forever, but we have to accept that all things happen for a reason.

Stage 2: Getting Over It 
Breaking up with a BFF isn’t an easy process. There’s the removal of pictures, notes, and borrowed clothes from months ago as well as facing the road to recovery. Getting over a best friend breakup always takes time. You may find yourself constantly reminiscing of the days when you were inseparable or even getting emotional when you visit a place you both enjoyed, but it’s okay. Breakups are difficult because they symbolize a part of you that no longer exists, but it’s also important to remember that “he who cares least wins.” Instead of constantly harassing your BFF about what you did wrong, remember that later on in life your paths might reconnect. Don’t lose too much sleep over it.

Stage 3: Moving On 
It takes a strong individual to have the will to move on from a broken relationship with a former best friend. Although the process can be tough, it’s important to know that when one door closes, another opens. Having faith that better things will come out of a BFF breakup is crucial to moving on. Your memories will be yours forever, and no one can take those from you. If the time comes that you start to rekindle that BFF vibe, then it won’t be hard to pickup right where you left off. Remember: you will start a fresh chapter in your life by leaving old memories in the past and creating new ones. 

Nicole Germany is a senior at the University of Florida pursuing a degree in magazine journalism. She is currently on track to graduate fall of 2014 and hopes to land a dream job with a major magazine in New York City. Her current roles include writing for Her Campus at the University of Florida, the inspirational-fashion blog, Hello Perfect and is social media director for She's The First UF.Her previous work experience includes writing for the The Independent Florida Alligator and The Black Sheep Magazine. She also volunteered for Gainesville Fashion Week 2013 where she assisted designers by organizing clothes and other materials for the show.Nicole updates her blog weekly with different entertainment, lifestyle and DIY pieces. Her website also contains relevant online clips and short stories.http://nkgermany.wordpress.com  
Cara oversees Her Campus Media's community department and serves as strategic lead for the expansion, development and management of all HCM communities, including the Her Campus Chapter Network, InfluenceHer Collective, College Fashionista, Spoon University, Campus Trendsetters, alumni and high school. She works closely with company leadership to develop new community-related sales offerings and the Integrated Marketing team to support all community-focused client marketing programs from end to end. Cara has experience working with high-profile talent, such as Jessica Alba, Andrew Yang, Amber Tamblyn, Aja Naomi King, Troian Bellisario, Jessica Marie Garcia, Nico Tortorella, Nastia Liukin, Rebecca Minkoff, Cecile Richards and Samantha Power, as well as brands like Coca-Cola, L'Oréal Paris, The New York Times, HBO, Uber, H&M and more. Having been a part of the HC family since 2011, Cara served as Campus Correspondent of the HC chapter at the University of Florida where she studied journalism, women’s studies and leadership. A New Yorker turned Floridian, Cara has a Friends quote for any situation. You can usually find her with her friends and family at the beach, a concert or live sports event or binge-watching Grey's Anatomy or Sons of Anarchy. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter @thecararose.