We’ve all heard those horror stories about the boyfriend’s mother disapproving of the girlfriend and we write them off as myths, movie conflicts or just things that happen to other girls. At least, that’s what I thought. Until it happened to me, and my best friend, and my cousin. The fact is, it is possible for your boyfriend’s mother to dislike you and most of the time it doesn’t even have anything to do with you, just the idea of you. So whether you think you have a reason to prepare or not, you might want to keep some of these tips in mind when you go for that fateful meeting with her. Better safe than sorry!
1) Do your research: Like any interview you care about, you have to do some research. Ask your boyfriend what his mom’s likes and dislikes are. What is considered rude to talk about? What do you two have in common? By finding out what kind of girl she is, you’ll be able to prepare yourself to become the girl she likes.
2) It’s not a competition: You could be the sweetest girl in the world and his mom could still not like you, and it’s not necessarily because she’s going through menopause. The fact is, moms don’t like to think that their son’s attention is being fixated on another woman. So to avoid aggravating the situation, if his mom insists on him going home for the break or wearing the purple tie to dinner, don’t argue. You don’t want to make him feel like he’s stuck between a rock and a hard place.
3) More is better: Let’s say you have an inkling that she may not be the biggest fan of yours, or she doesn’t know how she feels about you yet. Then go all out to be nice. Offer to help with the dishes after dinner, ask lots of questions and compliment her cooking. If it doesn’t work out, at least you know you tried your best.
4) Money troubles: It doesn’t matter what the situation is, mentioning money, using money, doing anything with money is a touchy subject with your boyfriend’s mom. Why? If your family is better off than his, and you buy him fancy presents for Christmas, you’re upstaging his mother. If your family is not as well off and you mention this in a conversation about…There is no good way out, so steer clear of it altogether.
5) Show you care: Ultimately his mom just wants her baby boy to be happy. If you show you genuinely care for her son, she’ll eventually be able to sift through her insecurities and accept you. This means that even if you and your boyfriend engage in playful banter or fights sometimes, do not show this in front of his mom. She may not be as attune to your guys’ sense of humor and might take a playful insult the wrong way.