This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Oxy chapter.
Dear HC Oxy, I’m a sophomore girl hooking up with a senior boy. We’re friends and hang out sober sometimes, and we like each other, but we’re both clear that when he graduates it’s over. I feel so awkward knowing there’s an expiration date, what do I do?
I’ve seen this question before. It’s that time of year (again) when you have to start worrying about summer internships, final papers getting written, and if you’re hooking up with a senior boy, you have to figure out how to deal with his impending graduation. It can be a tricky relationship.
First, know that while you are a great girl to hang out with (obviously, because otherwise he wouldn’t be spending so much time with you!), you aren’t his top priority. Right now, he’s probably overwhelmed thinking about jobs, grad school, moving, leaving all of his friends, pressure from family, and the logistics of graduating. So if he seems stressed, unhappy, or distant, understand that it’s not about you! A lot of people cope with the stress of graduating by spending a lot of time with the people they love the most, and that might be his best friends that he’s known since freshman year. It doesn’t necessarily include you. So be okay with giving him some space.
Some guys (and girls!) get senioritis before they graduate, and it can be hard to spend a lot of time with somebody who always has time to party, go out, play video games, or sleep when you’re in the depths of final paper research. Try not to take your frustration and stress out on them, and use the time you spend with them to relax a little and not think about school for those few hours. And definitely don’t let your own schoolwork slip if you’re spending a lot of time with the senioritis- stricken senior! It can be tempting to justify your slacking when he’s slacking too.
If you’re good enough friends, consider getting him a small graduation present, something he can take with him when he heads off to his new job or new school. Stay away from anything boyfriend-y, like a watch or a nice book, but things like baked goods or a six-pack of some nice beer make good presents. Play if off casually and there won’t be any awkward pressure.
Staying in touch after graduation can be tricky. Checking in once or twice over the summer is tempting, but might also be painful and pointless for both of you. A short conversation a few months into his new job or new school is appropriate, but don’t get too sentimental. You’re friends, not estranged lovers.
The bottom line is to have fun. If he’s a senior, chances are the relationship won’t continue past graduation, so have fun for the few weeks you have left together and if you really want to say or do something, go for it! After all, you don’t have much to lose.
(Editor’s Note: while the masculine pronoun has been used, this advice applies to all genders!)