“Girl Talk” Discussion Series Reaches out to Women at ND

Her Campus Notre Dame interviews Sam Stempky, creator of the “Girl Talk” discussion series.

1. When and how did the idea for this event come about?

This idea has been brewing for a while, and finally came about as the result of a few different things. Especially during this last election season, people began talking about these so-called “women’s issues.” I am a firm believer that as human beings, we all affect each other, so we need men to be involved in these discussions too. However, particularly with issues related to fertility, women retain a kind of vulnerability and therefore a special place in these discussions, because the decisions made directly impact their bodies. Also, in the spirit of Helen Alvare’s campaign “Women Speak for Themselves,” I wanted women to have a space to share their own stories, and to share with each other their own unique, and each very real experiences, thoughts, and feelings about these “women’s issues.”

It was also really important to me for Girl Talk to be a welcoming discussion environment. I’ve always been interested in gender and sexuality and their meanings for people, and have cherished the many discussions I have been a part of in and out of classes over the last four years. What I’ve come to realize is that even with people of totally different views, no one’s opinions are random; everyone has very real experiences/thoughts/feelings that have shaped them, and I think those need to be acknowledged. It’s easy when discussing ideologies to leave out those stories in our own lives that are influencing our ways of thinking, but in sharing those stories, we share a part of ourselves, and make these dialogues more personal – more human. I’ve also seen how this can bring people together who hold “technically” different views, because often we find out we have more in common than we may have thought.

2. Did you overcome any obstacles in planning the event?

One thing that was difficult was picking the articles to discuss – I wanted to make sure they were the best possible for creating helpful discussion!

3. Who has partnered with or sponsored you?

The Notre Dame Right to Life Student Club, for which I serve as the Joys of Life Team commissioner this year. It was important to me for these discussions to be an outreach of the club, because life issues are so intimately tied to “women’s issues.”

4. What support have you gotten from the university – in any form?

I ran into the director of the GRC last week and she said she had seen the posters and loved the idea, which I much appreciated.

5. What were the main topics of each of the 3 sessions?

To set the tone of the series, we read The Notre Dame Pledge for Virtuous Discourse [http://www3.nd.edu/~socconcn/about/VirtuesofDiscoursePledge.shtml] and this article called “How to be Friends with People Radically Different than you.” [http://goodwomenproject.com/friendship/how-to-be-friends-with-people-radically-different-from-you]

The first week we talked sort of generally on feminism and what it means to be a woman. Since many people haven’t heard of it, we also read selections from Pope John Paul’s “Letter to Women.” [http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/john_paul_ii/apost_letters/documents/hf_jp-ii_apl_15081988_mulieris-dignitatem_en.html]

The second session was on birth control and fertility, and we hosted Suzy Younger, a Fertility Care Practitioner from South Bend, to answer questions about the female body.

The third session is going to be a discussion of relationships and how men view women.

6. What is the format of the event?

With coffee and treats in hand, we sit at tables of about 6 or 7 women; seats are unassigned. After introducing ourselves we take 5-10 minutes to read the articles for that week. Then we discuss at our tables for about a half hour, and share with the larger group for the last 10-15 minutes.

7. What has surprised you about the forum?

The response by those who have attended and even those who just saw the posters for the event – so many people have been really excited about these discussions. It was also awesome to see how eager girls were to learn from each other.

8. How have the conversations been productive?

This series has been able to bring together a community of women to “speak for themselves” and start talking about issues that are extremely significant in our own lives. It has allowed women to find support from others whose experiences have led them to similar conclusions. Girl Talk has also allowed us to put faces and names with views that are different than our own, and recognize that each of our opinions on “women’s issues” are shaped by numerous very personal experiences. The conversations offer a starting point for dialogue and perhaps even a catalyst for progress.

9. How have faculty (professors) been supportive? Are female professors coming to these discussions?

No female professors have attended the discussions, but they were advertized mainly to students. Involving professors either as participants or as discussion hosts could be really fascinating for the future, though. 

10. What was your ultimate goal of this project?

My ultimate goal was to create a space on campus where women could come together to discuss “women’s issues,” explore their own pre-conceived notions, and learn from each other through sharing their own stories and experiences. Through my own discussions I saw how close to the heart these issues are for many women, and yet how media coverage failed to address the many personal aspects of these debates. My hope was that bringing girls together, we would be able to integrate those personal experiences with the varying ideologies surrounding these issues.

11. Why should women join the last discussion on the 14th?

Because you deserve to “speak for yourself!” Truly though, we would love to have as many women as possible add their voice to the discussion. We all want what is best for women, but only by coming together and sharing the realities of our individual experiences along with our ideas for progress will we be able to work towards that endeavor.

12. How do you hope to “Continue the conversation”?

Although I will be graduating soon, I would love to organize something like Girl Talk in Chicago, where I will be working next year. I hope that after attending Girl Talk, these wonderfully unique and vibrant women will continue to explore the experiences that have shaped them, and take what they have learned from these discussions back to their circles of friends. I also hope that the series itself has called attention to the need for real dialogue on these issues at Notre Dame, specifically those particular to women.