An Evolving Culture: Hooking Up And The End of Sex

The University of Illinois has such a big campus with a busy nightlife. The University also has the largest Greek life. Meeting new people is part of the everyday routine on such a large campus, especially when out partying. Many girls often say, “All you have to do is dance with a guy for a little and you’ll get free drinks all night!” Is that really all? They make it sound so simple. What they do not realize is that the guy talks to you all night and uses his charm to take you back to his place. What happens when they take you back to their room? The moment is heated and sex is expected nearly every time. Girls are put in this situation nearly every night. “We just hooked up, it wasn’t a big deal” has become part of the everyday vernacular.

Hookups have become more popular than relationships. They are sweeping the nation by storm and are extremely popular amongst large college campuses. College students typically are known to feel pressured to get good grades, get involved in activities, and plan for their future career. Now, the great pressure to engage in sex has overcome many students. 

Many college girls are faced with intense pressure to have sex. It is all around, and has lost it’s meaning. Freshman in the College of Business said, “It is so hard not to cave into having sex here at the University, because so many people do it.” Hooking up dominates the lives of college students today. At the University it seems like it is done for all the wrong reasons. A guy immediately wants to take you to his room, and there is no romance or intimacy in that.

In Donna Freitas’s “The End of Sex: How Hookup Culture is Leaving a Generation Unhappy, Sexually Unfulfilled, and Confused About Intimacy” book, that is exactly what she discusses. She uses students’ own testimonies to define hookup culture. She also suggests ways of opting out for those yearning for meaningful relationships.

Living it first hand is not easy for those girls that do not engage in sex for personal beliefs and values. “All boys want is to do is take you straight to their room. They don’t care what your interests are,” freshman in the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences said. “They automatically assume you want to go all the way. When you say no, they constantly ask why.”

Sophomore in the College of Business said, “I have been called lame so many times, by a handful of guys. I do not care and I refuse to give in because everyone does it. That is not what it is about. It should be done with someone special that cares and that is just how I feel.”

What can you expect? In culture today, sex has been displayed as such a casual activity in award-winning shows and movies. Sex is hyped on television. Shows like Glee make it very casual. In the new hit HBO series, Girls, there is a character named Shoshanna. In the first season on the show she was depicted, as someone destined for doom in the dating game because of she was still a virgin. In one episode she said, “ I’m, like, the least virgin-y virgin ever” to a guy because of lack of bedroom experience. It is so easy for girls on campus to feel ashamed and embarrassed because of their virginity. If this hooking up culture continues on, sex will permanently become an activity done when one is faced with boredom, loneliness, and isolation.