Yale Men’s Tennis Team

We were lucky enough to hear from the athletic, attractive and, by far, healthiest team on campus, Yale Men’s Tennis. After winning an astounding 9 out of their first 10 matches, the Yale Men’s Tennis Team is bound to extend their victories into the upcoming Ivy League season. Read on to learn their secrets to success!

What’s the best thing about Yale Men’s Tennis?

Our conditioning and our academic proclivities. We’re kind of smart and we know it. We also have a pretty small team, which has allowed us to be like a family.

What is something most people don’t know about your team?

We have a sensitive side. Less than half of us are single so stake your claim. Only one of us has red hair. Patrick Chase is also yoked in case anyone was unsure. We consume very few carbs. You’ll rarely see us chewing gum. 

What are some of your team’s traditions?

Chobani, Chipotle and Chugging. We eat a lot of greek yogurt and Chipotle. 99% of the people on our team chug quite rapidly. We also run Kumo as a team at some point every semester.

Who’s YMT’s biggest fan?

Halley Kaye-Kauderer; however, Kate Pattison is giving her a run for her money.

What’s your team go-to song?

Tie: Between We r Who We r, Tik Tok, Die Young, Blow. Anything that involves Kesha… or T. Swift when we’re feeling sad.

What are some highlights from this year?

Being captained by “The Magician” (Dan Hoffman) has truly been magical. In addition, we cracked Top 50 in the country this year, which was a big accomplishment for us. Beating Old Dominion on our spring break trip was really exciting, as Marc Powers clinched the match with Pat’s racket.

Yale girls are best because…

Because a lot of them are going to make more money one day than half of our friends at other schools. Plus they’re Aces: dominating, beauties and require all our energy… sometimes