The Rhode Less Traveled: You Might Still Be on Spring Break If…

Do you hear that? That faint, faint sound, whispering in the wind? Almost unrecognizable? It sounds just like thousands of sunburnt, dehydrated college students whimpering simultaneously as professors hand them the rubric after rubric for their final projects. Ah, the good ole’ sound of the end of spring break.

Last week was a blur of sunny, relaxing, sandy bliss: food was plentiful, sleep was often, showers were optional. Papers and classes and midterms were replaced by corn-hole tournaments and hot-dog barbeques, sweet tea and endless Lifetime movies. From Panama City to Colorado to Gulf Shores to your parent’s couch, spring break offered seven days of escape, whether you chose to spend those seven days refreshing or ordering refreshments.

But for some (okay, for all), the transition back to school is more than a little rocky. Is this a quiz? We had reading? You want me to write how many pages? Surprisingly, professors don’t seem super excited to ease back into the whole “learning” thing, and insist on sticking to the syllabus, even though it is incredibly clear that not a single person is intellectually, emotionally, or physically prepared to be back in class, let alone do the inordinate amounts of reading assigned for the first night.

In fact, days later, some students are still unable to kick the spring-break attitude. If you show any of these signs by Thursday, you might need a swift kick of reality. Or a kick over to the registrar, ‘cause you’re going to need to drop a few classes.

Top Ten Signs You Might (Mentally) Still Be on Spring Break:

1). You open your backpack for class and see a gossip magazine, two water bottles filled with questionable liquid, and a shovel. Agenda, textbook, and notebook are curiously missing.

2). You wake up and immediately put on shorts, even though it’s 45 degrees in Memphis.

3).  When your teacher tells you there’s going to be a group project, you immediately assume it’s a Frisbee tournament, and start assembling a “team” of people with good hand-eye coordination.

4). Your Croakies are starting to leave a permanent mark on the back of your neck.

5). You finish every sentence by shouting “hashtag S-B-2-K-13!” and then begin fist-pumping to yourself. 

6). You’re accidently (and by that I mean actually very intentionally) wearing all neon.

7). Every time you wake up before 10 AM, you run through the dorm to accept your congratulatory high-fives for this supreme accomplishment.

8). You’re at the Rhodes pool. And can’t figure out why no one else is.

9). You have already made it through three complete t.v. seasons, and are halfway through season four. Your homework, conveniently, is somewhere beneath about seventeen layers of dirty clothes and empty packets of sunblock.

10).  You’re still playing Marco Polo. And winning. 

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