1. Hash tags kill creativity
If Twitter’s original 140-character limit was not enough to stunt our vocabulary, then the hashtag has sealed the deal. Thanks to the hashtag, you don’t need individual self-expression to get a ton of “likes” on any social media site—all you need is a filtered photo and a few hackneyed buzzwords. People can now condense spectacular life experiences into common words and phrases as generic as Hallmark greeting cards. In hashtag lingo, Stonehenge is not impressive architecture that exhibits ingenious engineering before its time, but is rather, #cool #Jenga that is #50shadesofgrey. Hashtags have conditioned us to think in a condensed and commercialized way, causing us to spew out a string of superficial words like a label maker. I can practically taste the bad typeface and cheap plastic.
“#cat”? That’s it? Don’t you mean “majestic f*cking creature”?
2. Hashtags are cowardly
If alcoholics have liquid courage, then tweeters have digital courage. The words after a hashtag are like the words we mutter under our breath after our parents scold us. We are too timid to say them outright — as a status update — so we whisper them into our shoulder — behind a hashtag — to feel some semblance of cheekiness. Tweeters will post socially acceptable thoughts as an update, then tuck their true thoughts behind hashtags.
A typical tweet comprises an innocuous update, such as “a night out with the girls,” but is then tagged with a few bolder topics, such as #hottestfriends, #thirstythursday, #singlelife, and #callmemaybe.
Hashtags bridge the separation between the explicit and the implicit, providing a sneaky way to post bold thoughts. But tagged topics are merely weak forms of speech that tread lightly on the page — or screen, rather. Closeted thoughts crack the door, yet remain safe in the hashtags’ shadows. The Gryffindor in me hates the Hufflepuffiness of these half-hearted statements and the undeserved feedback they receive.
Sorry, Hufflepuff.
If you want to say something, then just say it. If someone posted this status and I saw it, I would interpret it as, “I will be heavily intoxicated with my attractive friends tonight and may consider your booty call.”
Not the most eloquent I’ll admit, but I’m a sucker for frankness.
3. Hashtags are like rabbits
You start with two and suddenly end with a million. Many tweeters get carried away as their standard for relevancy diminishes and their stream of consciousness takes over. It’s the same trap I fall into when I browse Wikipedia for Cristiano Ronaldo and end up on the Stockholm Syndrome page half an hour later (which, I learned, is possible in 13 clicks).
It’s better to stay focused on your topic, don’t you think?
But the difference between tweeters’ trailing minds and me is that my thought process is not publicly documented on Facebook’s newsfeed for everybody to see. Excessive hashtags not only waste my time as a non-tweeter on Facebook, but also make me judge my “friends.” I’ll grant that someone’s dog is #cute in #glasses, but I have my doubts about whether he will become #thenextBillGates.
Photo credits:
http://i1144.photobucket.com/albums/o493/junglegymnast/P1010104.jpg
http://weheartit.com/entry/47588624/via/atomsimz
http://weheartit.com/entry/531…
http://weheartit.com/entry/537…
http://www.synapse3di.com/wp-c…