We have all seen her, we have all had a friend like her, and sometimes we have been her. She’s the girl who is acting way too extreme in the office, at the club and even with her man. She is just a little too loud and a little too crazy. This girl is ratchet. According to urbandictionary.com ratchet is, “Derived from the word ‘wretched’ (poor, despicable, inferior, and pitiful).” Ratchet in the form of a noun is defined as, “The girl who thinks she’s hot. She’s actually ugly and unflattering, probably being sloppy and obnoxious, and has a big attitude.” In other words, someone who is ratchet is a hot mess, a sloppy, out of control female that no one wants to be around. Let’s take a look at ratchet girl in some of her natural habitats.
Ratchet Girl at Work
Here’s a sneak peek into ratchet girl’s life at her office job. She walks into work 45 minutes late because she gives zero cares about punctuality. She sits down at her desk and proceeds to create the illusion that she is starting her work by logging into her computer and taking out a pen and paper. For one second we believe that ratchet girl is ambitious, but wait, she reaches into her snake skin Fucci (fake Gucci) bag and whips out her secret weapon: her cell phone. Ratchet Girl proceeds to make phone calls to her hairdresser, her nail lady, her girl, and to her new boy that she would describe as her “boo daddy.” She screams into the receiver about how much she hates her job and how the people in her office are “bougie” (snobby rich people). In the midst of her usual ratchet ways, she gets an email from her boss to come into the office immediately. Twenty minutes later ratchet girl arrives. As she sits down, her boss does not hesitate to express his list of complaints. “You not only show up late to work every day and leave early, but you continually flirt with all of the male staff members. If that isn’t enough, many of your coworkers have complained about missing food that was clearly marked as theirs in the staff fridge. Now don’t you deny it, because they found your trail of weave! Ratchet Girl, you are fired!” Most people would bow out gracefully, but not Ratchet Girl. Instead she says, “Nobody wanted to work for yo’ ugly butt anyway, and you’re just mad ‘cause you can’t handle the fact that I’m beautiful and not basic like these other tricks up in here!” Oh Ratchet Girl, you’ve done it again. Let’s see if she is any better at the club.
Ratchet Girl at the Club
At the club you will find many ratchets, but our Ratchet Girl takes the cake. She arrives in a body con dress, ripped in just the right places with her Nike Air Jordan stilettos. Let us not forget about that face with piled on layers of foundation, sparkly eye shadow, 6 inch fake eyelashes and bright blue lipstick. Work it ratchet girl! Your mother would be so proud. As the music starts pumping ratchet girl hears her anthem song come on, “Bands a Make her Dance” by Juicy J. Ratchet girl proceeds to aggressively twerk (grind) on every male in the club. Ratchet Girl’s normal positioning while dancing is face down with her backside in the care of her male dancing partner. Perhaps bending over wasn’t the best move for ratchet girl especially since she took one too many shots. Ratchet Girl positions herself upright and scurries to the bathroom after she realizes her stomach is a little upset. Unfortunately, Ratchet girl doesn’t make it and begins to vomit all over the dance floor. Ratchet Girl has done it again. The bouncer removes her from the club. Can Ratchet Girl win with anything? Let’s see how she does in world of love.
Ratchet Girl in Love
Now most smart men wouldn’t touch Ratchet Girl with a ten foot pole. If there is an off chance Ratchet Girl finds a man, she won’t be able to keep him. Even when Ratchet Girl is on the first date she manages to mess it up. It was ruined before things even started due to the attractive female waitress that came to take their order. When her date looks over at the waitress to tell her his order, Ratchet Girl’s eyes perk up. She stands up and begins to cause a scene with the waitress and tells her to ‘stay away from her man!’ Ratchet Girl continues to yell at the waitress as the whole restaurant just stares. During her craziness her date slips out of the door.
As we can see perhaps being ratchet isn’t the best way to go. One gains respect in being professional, looking sexy but classy, and being secure in all of your relationships. Though the adventures of Ratchet Girl seem fun and crazy, it’s not the way to live. At the end of day, you want to be remembered in a positive light and as someone with self-respect.