With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, it’s becoming increasingly evident to singles that they’ll be spending the holiday treating themselves to a box of chocolates… or in my case, a few. It’s hard to understand why it seems nearly impossible to find anything more than a hookup in a guy, especially being a student at such a big, social school. I’ve noticed one of the biggest problems in igniting lasting relationships is simple miscommunication. And it almost always comes down to texting.
I’ve watched girls struggle time after time reading and rereading text messages from guys they’re interested in stressing over how or whether they should respond.
But is this is a one-sided worry? Are guys on the other end rewriting and drafting their texts, too, proofreading and analyzing every word? Or do they even think twice after clicking send? Frustrated with this daunting inquiry, I found one of our very own campus frat-stars willing to give me an anonymous inside look at the texting game.
Source: askmen.com
Do guys purposely wait a certain amount of time to text back?
“It depends. It honestly goes hand-in-hand. It all depends on how fast the girl is responding; it’s a mutual timing thing.”
How long means disinterested?
“No response at all is the most straightforward way to show disinterest. I will continue elongating the time between responses if I’m not interested, and I want the conversation to die. I’ll also refrain from open-ended questions to minimize the conversation.”
Does a girl you’re interested in earn an instant response?
“Not necessarily. You take enough time to formulate a plan of attack or a good response, but not waiting too long because she’ll get the wrong idea. Like anything in life, good timing is key.”
What do guys think when girls respond back quickly? Or when they respond slowly? “For the first few texts, I don’t think much about them responding eagerly; however, if the conversation is being extended over like an hour or so and her responses are still on point, then I wonder if this girl has anything better to do than text me. I don’t think I should be obligated to respond to a text right on the spot, because I might not necessarily have access to my phone or I may be preoccupied at that moment. Whereas girls, on the other hand, are naturally more attached to their phone. So, if you’re giving me short responses and waiting a while to respond, I’ll assume you aren’t interested and stop texting back.”
Do guys use emojis to show interest? If so, which ones? “I think emojis are just something that girls use between each other, so personally I choose to stay away from them; however, I do know guys who use them to try [to] come off humorous or to make the conversation lighter with a girl.”
How do you show a girl you’re disinterested through text? “Honestly, if I’m not interested, a girl will know it. I don’t like leading anyone on, but if she texts me first, I’m not going to not respond. If a guy is interested, he will text you first. You get [her] number in the first place to show interest. If he’s really into you, he’ll initiate a conversation 100% of the time.”
How do you show her your interested? “First off, I always initiate the conversation. Then once I’ve texted her, I manage to keep the conversation going being attentive and interested. Then, most importantly, I try to initiate some sort of hang out through text. Just like any other interaction between a guy and a girl, you can’t be too aggressive because then the girl will think you’re too needy or desperate, but contrarily you can’t be too passive because then they won’t think you care enough. I personally believe that the best way for a guy to show interest is to man up and pick the phone. No one talks on the phone anymore, and this will catch her off guard in a positive way.”
Do guys ever think twice about whether a girl texted them first? “No, not at all. Unless you’re a stage-five clinger, I don’t think there’s any way a girl can come off as too forward.”
Any last words of advice? “Just don’t take the texting game too seriously, focus more on your face-to-face interactions. They are more important and are lasting.”
I found this interview very enlightening. Girls often worry about every character they text to a guy and anxiously wait by the phone for a response. Getting a guys perspective definitely shed some light on how ridiculous it is to stress over a brief text message conversation. I think the most important thing to take from this interview is to focus this attention to more personal interactions. So the next time you get that text that you’ve been waiting for since Friday, relax and remember in the scheme of things it isn’t as crucial as you think.