For some, Valentine’s Day is filled with sticky-sweet bliss; flowers and chocolates and precious moments with your significant other fill the day, while lavish candlelit dinners, Parisian inspired menus, high-end champagne and rose petals rule the evening. It’s romantic, idyllic, and makes everyone around you jealous. Now, for everyone who isn’t an actress in a romance film, this might be a little bit of a stretch, Rhodes collegietes included.
The way I see it, there are two ways to approach Valentine’s Day. You could spend the whole day hating the world, binging on ice cream, and cursing every couple that walks past hand and hand. You can throw chocolates at the TV screen, Elle Woods style, and de-friend everyone on your newsfeed who posts anything with the caption “Love my boyfriend!” You could consult the Cosmo quiz to determine why you’re so painfully single, and then rant with your friends about how you’re “too busy to make that type of commitment anyway,” even though you and I and everyone else knows that that’s not true. This is typically how I have spent February 14th.
However, there is an alternate, mysterious, underrated option. Instead of hating the girls who have boyfriends, spend that time and energy celebrating the fact that you don’t.
I’m serious. This Valentine’s Day, celebrate the fact you don’t have a boyfriend. You don’t have to watch stupid football games on a Sunday afternoon. You don’t have to hang out at the frat houses when you’d much rather be curled up in bed watching Gossip Girl. You don’t have to remind anyone to do his laundry, work around any guy’s eating schedule, or put on makeup when you don’t feel like it.
Skeptical? Never fear. With this step-by -tep guide, having a kick a$$ single Valentine’s Day is a breeze. Who needs boys anyways?
Step 1: Wake up, and put on your favorite, most obnoxious outfit.
That crazy dress from the thrift store with the shoulder pads? Hot pink leggings with a comfy oversized sweater? Tie-dye jump suit with the tassels? All perfect. We’re not trying to impress anyone today. Even random passerbys… Put on whatever you love to wear, and whoever gives you a nasty look is probably uncomfortable anyways.
Step 2: Buy flowers for yourself. And a friend.
I’m not sure what person in history decided that flowers are only something that men can give to women in an attempt to woo them, but I’m sick and tired of it. Flowers are pretty and smell nice. I like things that are pretty and smell nice. Therefore, it seems silly to wait around for someone to present them to me. Run to Kroger, grab a bouquet or two, and then brighten both your own room and your friend’s day.
Step 3: Order In.
Going out on Valentine’s Day is a hassle. The wait is long, the waiters are stressed, and it’s like one giant competition to see who can be the cutest couple. Thank you very much, but I’ll pass. I would much rather stuff my face with lo mein. Cheaper, more convenient, tastier…and did I mention you can be as sloppy as you want, and no once cares? Slurping noodles in between swigs of soda? Sounds great.
Step 4: Get some shut-eye.
The most dangerous part of the day is bed time. It’s dark, you’re alone, the girl in the room next door is, well, celebrating. Best way to stick it to ‘em? Beauty sleep, ladies. It’s amazing what a solid eight hours can do. Those boys won’t know what hit them the next time they see you. Not that you care…