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They say the quality of your life is defined by the quality of your relationships. As we may not always notice it, we are largely shaped by the relationships we hold with those who surround us. Regardless of their nature, they influence the way we comport ourselves on a daily basis. As they play such a prominent role in the way we shape our lives, we must attend to them with attention and care.
Whether we like it or not, we live in a fast paced world where our reality is in constant change, and as our reality changes, so do our relationships. The bonds we hold are constantly strengthening, breaking or changing in one way or another. Thus, it is important to reflect on what we currently have since it is not always aligned with what we may want or need. As a new year is fast approaching, most of us are finding ourselves devising many resolutions. This year, a relationship resolution may just be the answer to the fresh new start you need.
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DEFINE WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR
Whether it be on a genetic, personal, professional or emotional level, we connect with others largely because we are looking to benefit from an exchange. It can be love, friendship, work, opportunity, approval, money, sex, social status, guidance, advice, insight, knowledge, but regardless, there are undeniable underlying motives that compel us to develop certain bonds. Hence, before assessing your relationships, you must first outline what it is you are looking for. You want your relationships to bring out the best in you. They should be healthy and uplifting, leaving you better than where you left off. The benefits of the exchange should exceed that which you put into it. In other words, a good relationship should be synergetic. People have the potential to better you; to help you become the best version of yourself. Outline the best version of yourself, what you aspire to be, and what type of interactions would help you achieve your goals. Having a vision of what you want will bring clarity to how you should assess your diverse relationships.
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WEEDING YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
Although some relationships are inescapable, you may want to rethink those who you intentionally engage with. It may not be evident, but our relationships are often not aligned with what we are looking for, causing us more harm than good. These bonds are could be acting as barriers to becoming your best self. Bad relationships are often time consuming, tiring, and even detrimental to your wellbeing. Breaking these adverse bonds can be extremely beneficial. However, although you know these relationships are bad for you, arriving at the conclusion that your relationship is unhealthy can be hard to swallow. We may very well value the person and the relationship, making us unwilling to disconnect ourselves from them. As it is often preferable to do so, it is not always necessary. When considerable effort is put in, relationships can be salvaged. This being said, determining which relationships are valuable and which aren’t is important. It will allow you to get rid of the unhealthy ones and focus on those which you can benefit from most.
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NURTURING
Determining which relationships you would like to keep is just the starting point. Valuable relationships need to be nurtured. Having established that the relationship is good for your wellbeing does not necessarily imply that you are good for theirs. Relationships consist of mutual and beneficial exchanges. So, ensure that you better them, just as they better you. It requires time, effort and care, but it’s necessary if you want it to work. As you want your relationship counterpart to offer you their best self, return the favor. Don’t take it for granted, since it can be gone before you know it. Don’t restrain from going above and beyond. Give it your all: be the best you can and let them benefit from all that is good from you. Here are a few tips on how to develop quality relationships:
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•  Be enjoyable; release positive energy.
•  Listen twice as much as you speak; you were given two ears and one mouth for a reason.
•  Take an interest in them; make them feel good about themselves.
•  Underpromise and overdeliver; surprise them by exceeding their expectations.
•  Be caring and understanding; make sure they know you value them.
•  Be reliable; show them they can count on you.
•  Bring out the best in them; encourage what you appreciate in them most.
•  Be authentic; make them feel comfortable around you.
•  Go the extra mile; leave them better than you found them.
As assessing your relationships may not be very appealing, it is truly an empowering experience. It forces you to reevaluate yourself, pursue a state of wellbeing, and rise above mediocrity, indifference and weakness. Be assertive in your decisions, courageous with your endeavors and persistent with your efforts in becoming your best possible self.
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